Justice League of America

Coming of the Terroristic Triad

by HarveyKent

“Good evening, Ollie,” J’Onn J’Onzz greeted his longtime friend, as Green Arrow entered the communications room of the JLA satellite. The Martian Manhunter’s shift on monitor duty was over, and Green Arrow was relieving him.

“Hey, J’Onn,” the emerald archer muttered, sourly.

“Something troubles you?” the green-skinned giant asked.

“Ahh, it’s Artie,” Green Arrow said. To this day, the archer was the only one Aquaman allowed to call him “Artie”. “He begged off my bachelor party. Seems this group of animal rights activists has a demonstration planned in Tokyo that day, protesting the hunting of dolphins and whales, and he promised to put in an appearance.”

“An excellent cause,” J’Onn pointed out.

“Oh sure, I’m behind it a hundred per cent,” Green Arrow agreed. “It’s just not gonna be the same, him not bein’ there. He’ll be there for the wedding, of course, but the bachelor party is a guy’s last farewell to his old life. He likes all his friends around him.”

“Sadly, I too must make my apologies,” J’Onn said. “The party has been scheduled for a holy day in the Martian religion, a day of fasting and prayer. Katar was unable to reschedule it.”

“Aw, man!” Green Arrow cursed. “First Artie, now you! What is it with you guys? Are you offended that I didn’t ask you to be my best man, or somethin’?”

“Certainly not, Ollie,” J’Onn said. “To spoil your festivities to assuage hurt feelings would be childish and immature. That is not my way.” The jade-hued alien paused a moment. “However, I would have been honored to stand for you. You are like a brother to me.”

Green Arrow raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you, like, a hundred and twenty, in Earth years?”

The Martian shrugged imperceptibly. “A younger brother, perhaps. I’ve always felt a kinship between us, Ollie. Both of us seem strangers in a world we never anticipated, clinging to our friends as our only true family.”

“Got that right,” Green Arrow said. “Say, do you have bachelor parties on Mars? Or weddings? I mean, I know you get married and all, you’ve told me about that. But what’s it like? The ritual?”

J’Onn paused, thinking about that. “Different. Vastly different. As you know, the green-skinned race on Mars is one of science and philosophy, prizing knowledge above physical strength and combat. However, in our infancy, ours was a warlike race, given to much bloodshed.”

“Yeah, Blanx’s pale people never got much past that, did they?” Green Arrow asked.

“Indeed not,” J’Onn agreed. “However, as with most civilizations, a few of our ancient rituals still survive into the modern day. Much as, for example, the Terran custom of communion in the Christian religions, the symbolic eating of the flesh of their God, evolved from ancient barbaric rites of human sacrifice and cannibalism.” J’Onn paused again. “In ancient times, when a young Martian male desired a mate, he had to fight her father, or eldest living male relative, to the death for her hand. A variation of that ritual survives, even unto this day.”

Green Arrow did a double-take. “What?! You guys still do that?”

“Presently,” J’Onn explained, “the ritualistic combat takes the form of b’akk, a contest of strategy and intellect not dissimilar to Terran chess, only much more difficult.”

“Chess? You mean, when you want to marry a Martian gal, you have to beat her daddy at chess?”

“I wouldn’t have phrased it so simply,” J’Onn said, “but that is the heart of the matter, yes.”

“Suppose you lose?”

“It is customary for the father of the bride to allow the groom to win,” J’Onn said. “After all, it is merely a ritual.”

“J’Onn,” Green Arrow began, “I like to think I’m a pretty liberal guy, but…man, that’s weird.”

“Indeed,” J’Onn agreed. “I felt the same way about Halloween, when I first heard of it.”

“Batman calling the satellite, code 6-7-9,” the voice of the darkknight detective came through the communications speakers.

“Martian Manhunter acknowledging,” J’Onn replied into the voice-activated communicator. “What is the trouble, Batman?”

“No trouble,” Batman replied. “At least not at the moment. I just had a run-in with what I believe to be a brand new costumed criminal. At least, I have never encountered him before, nor have I seen his like in the JLA files. I want to dictate my encounter to the League computer, while it’s still fresh in my mind.”

“A new super-baddie?” Green Arrow said. “Just what we don’t need!’

“Direct patch to computer voice files established,” J’Onn said. “You may begin when ready, Batman.”

The longtime Justice Leaguer took a deep breath, then began his narrative.

***

It had been, for Gotham City, a relatively slow evening; Batman had broken up a drug buy, saved the inhabitants from a tenement fire, and halted a street fight between rival gangs. The caped crusader was half-wondering where Gotham’s outré criminal masterminds were this evening, when the dashboard alarm alerted him to a robbery in progress at the Flugelheim Museum. Batman turned the Batmobile onto Keaton Avenue. In moments he was pulled up in front of the museum; he climbed cautiously out of his vehicle.

“No lights on,” he said to himself. “I don’t even see a glimmer of a flashlight. Real pros; must have night-vision goggles.” Batman removed his own pair from his utility belt and fastened them around his head, before entering the museum. He crept stealthily through the darkened museum, until he spotted a man in a room housing Renaissance paintings. The man stood before a painting entitled “The Night Watch”, and was reaching up for it. The man was dressed in a skintight costume, in shades of black and

blue.

“Museum hours are over, friend,” Batman snarled. The man whirled on his heel, facing the Darkknight Detective. The man wore a full-face mask, with opaque white coverings for his eyes.

“Ah, Batman!” the man said. “I’ve been expecting you. Gotham’s great guardian; how could I hope to liberate this painting from the Flugelheim without encountering you?”

“While I admire your color scheme,” Batman said, “we’ve got enough ‘theme villains’ in Gotham. When you get out of prison, I’d suggest you ply your trade somewhere else.”

“My dear Batman, I have no intention of going to prison,” the man said. His right hand, which had hung limply at his side, suddenly shot forward like a striking cobra. Batman tensed, ready to dive to one side. He had a vague impression of a black light flashing from the man’s wrist, before the entire room was plunged into darkness. A darkness his night-vision goggles couldn’t penetrate.

“Surprised?” the man’s mocking voice came through the darkness. “Your toys are useless against me, Batman! No man-made devices can see through the darkness I create!”

“Keep talking,” Batman said, maneuvering slowly, cautiously, through the blackness.

“So you can find me?” the man mocked. “I’m right here, Batman, right next to you!”

The caped crusader threw a punch at the voice. It collided with something hard and dense; Batman quickly drew his hand back, his knuckles stinging. Before he could react, something struck him hard on the jaw, sending him reeling across the room.

“Adieu, Batman,” the mocking voice called out. “We’ll meet again, I’m sure! Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. Call me the Moonwalker!”

Slowly, the room came back into the cloudy view Batman saw through his goggles, as Moonwalker’s darkness faded. The man himself was gone.

“At least he didn’t get the painting,” Batman said, rubbing his jaw. “Just what I needed, another name for my rogues’ gallery. Moonwalker, eh? Be a lawsuit, there.”

x x x x x

“And he called himself ‘Moonwalker’? Actually?” Green Arrow asked, with a barely-concealed chuckle.

“I’m sure it had nothing to do with Michael Jackson,” Batman said, sternly. “Probably referred to walking under the moon, by darkness. That sort of thing.” Batman’s voice came through the communicator to Green Arrow and Martian Manhunter in the satellite headquarters; he had finished his account of his battle with the new villain.

“What were this criminal’s powers?” J’Onn asked.

“He projected darkness,” Batman said. “A very persistent kind of darkness; my night-vision goggles were useless. He seemed able to see in the dark, as well. Also he seemed super-strong and resistant to injury.”

“Dr. Mid-Nite on steroids,” Green Arrow commented.

“I’ve run a check in our known criminals database,” J’Onn said, ignoring the archer’s comment. “He doesn’t seem to match any costumed criminals, super-powered or otherwise, extant.”

“So there’s a new one,” Green Arrow said. “As if we didn’t have enough of them to contend with.”

“As this Moonwalker is brand-new,” Batman said, “I don’t know if he intends operating solely in Gotham City or not. It’s important that the entire League be alerted to his presence.”

“I agree, Batman,” J’Onn said. “We’ll be alert for this Moonwalker.”

Green Arrow started laughing again, drawing a stern glance from J’Onn. “Sorry, guys, I just can’t help it! ‘Moonwalker’, for pete’s sake!”

“This from the man who’s fought Clock King, the Red Dart, and Camouflage King,” Batman said.

“‘s a point,” Green Arrow conceded.

***

“…and if there’s no old business,” Hawkman said, chairing the regular JLA meeting two nights

later, “we’ll move on to new business. Batman has informed the League of a new costumed criminal, calling himself–” Hawkman shot a stern glance at Green Arrow, as if daring him to make a joke; the archer, smiling to himself, merely shrugged. “–the Moonwalker. This criminal’s abilities–”

“Incoming teleportation,” a breathy female voice, a perfect imitation of Marilyn Monroe, came over the public address system in the meeting room. “Identity confirmed as Superman.”

“Why did we let Ollie program the computer voice?” Hawkman asked of no one in particular.

“Hey, I kinda like it,” Green Lantern said.

A moment later, the man of steel was in the meeting room. “Sorry I’m late, everyone,” he apologized. “I had a situation come up that I had to deal with.”

“That’s all right, Clark,” Aquaman said. “Katar was just about to turn the floor over to Bruce, to brief everyone on the new super-villain he encountered.”

Superman frowned. “I’m afraid we need to make that two new super-villains.”

***

Superman left the Daily Planet building via the rooftop, preparing to soar into space to attend the meeting in the Justice League satellite, when his super-hearing detected a silent alarm at the Metropolis University library building. Instantly he changed course, hurtling through the sky like a blue comet toward the university.

“There’s the library,” Superman said, flying down to the darkened campus building. “Could be a desperate student trying to return a book before the due date to avoid a fine, but somehow I doubt it.”

Superman scanned the building with his x-ray vision, and gasped at what he saw. He composed himself quickly.

“Take it easy, Clark, you’re not losing your mind,” the Man of Steel told himself. “It’s just a man in a pirate costume with a hook for a hand, prying open a glass display case. Happens all the time in Metropolis.” Superman flew down and pushed open the door of the library. The pirate whirled to stare at him.

“What be this?” the pirate snarled. “A buffoon in a clown’s costume, interrupting me at my business? Be gone, clown!”

“Playing the part to the hilt, eh?” Superman asked. “OK, Cap’n, just come with me and everything will be OK.”

“You dare address me thus?” the pirate demanded, drawing a flintlock pistol. “You’ll learn the folly of threatening James Hook, churl!”

“James Hook?” Superman said, raising an eyebrow, as the pistol ball shattered on his chest. “Friend, you need serious help!”

“Name of the devil! The pistol ball bounces off!” Captain Hook cried. “This is no clown; ’tis a demon!”

“I’m no more those, than you are Captain Hook,” Superman declared.

“Oh, trust me, he is,” a new voice said from the shadows. A feminine voice. Superman whirled to see a woman wearing a severe-styled gray suit and sensibly-heeled shoes, with black-framed glasses and her dark hair tied up in a tight bun. Her features were sharp, aquiline. She stared at Superman with a look that made him feel like he was eight years old again and caught whispering by Mrs. McGreevy, the Smallville librarian. She carried a large, leather-bound book under one arm.

“Um…he is?” Superman stammered.

“He is,” the woman confirmed. “Just the right one for the job I selected him for; but obviously, insufficient to deal with you. Begone, Captain Hook!”

Superman watched in amazement as Captain Hook faded away into nothing. “A good trick, ma’am,” Superman said. “How’d you do it?”

“That comes under the heading of a trade secret,” the woman said. “Suffice it to say that any character ever created by the written word is at my service.”

“Interesting,” Superman said, his eyebrow raising again. “And you would be–?”

“In my youth, my callous classmates called me a Bookworm,” the woman said. “The name fits me as well as any other. I don’t suppose you’d consider flying out of here and letting me get what I came for?”

“I don’t suppose I would,” Superman said. “And even if you can summon fictional characters as you claim, I can’t think of one that could give me trouble.”

The Bookworm smirked at him. “You’re not very well-read, then,” she said. Before Superman could reply, a blow from behind struck him suddenly, driving him to his knees. He looked up behind himself, to see a ten-foot giant standing behind him. A powerful giant, rippling with muscles. The giant’s skin was olive toned, and he wore a pointed beard and a golden earring.

“Oh,” Superman said. “I forgot about him.”

“My master decrees you die!” The genie from “A Thousand And One Arabian Knights” snarled.

“Mistress,” the Bookworm corrected.

***

“The Bookworm?” Green Arrow said in disbelief. “She actually called herself the Bookworm? Far freakin’ out!” The membership of the Justice League sat around their meeting table, discussing Superman’s recent battle.

“Ollie, the woman can conjure living representations of storybook characters,” Superman said incredulously, “and that’s what you find bizarre, her choice of sobriquet?”

“Hey, come on, Big Blue,” Green Arrow said. “My best buddy has a magic ring that can move mountains, I’ve got other buddies from at least four different planets, and the last time I found my fiancee’s ticklish spot she broke every window in my apartment building. I’m not that easy to impress anymore.”

“It’s the concrete instrumentality that puzzles me,” Batman opined. “I mean, how does she do it? Even given the circles we travel in, as Ollie so aptly pointed out, it barely seems possible.”

“Catch-all answer would be magic,” Elongated Man offered. “Would explain it all away, wouldn’t it? Including how the genie was able to put a hurting on Clark.”

“But what about Captain Hook?” Hawkman pointed out. “If the Bookworm’s creations were magical in origin, any of them would be able to affect Superman, and Captain Hook couldn’t.”

“Here’s a thought,” Black Canary put in. “On my birth world of Earth-Two, there was a villain called the Brain Wave. He had developed his mental powers to a degree that he could accomplish many feats with his mind; one of which was creating three-dimensional thought images so real that they could interact with the physical world.”

“You mean, he thought, therefore they am?” Green Arrow said.

“Basically,” Black Canary said. “Perhaps that’s what the Bookworm does.”

“But if that’s the case,” Superman asked, “why could her genie hurt me? He wouldn’t be magical, in that case, merely a solid thought-image.”

“But you didn’t know that,” Zatanna pointed out. “You thought he was magical. Perhaps it was mind over matter. The genie could hurt you simply because you thought he could.”

Superman raised his eyebrows in thought. “Now, that’s something to mull over.”

“Still smarting cos the bad guy got away, huh, Supes?” Green Arrow asked.

“It’s not something I’m used to, Ollie,” Superman grumbled. “I mean, I’m glad I stopped her from stealing anything, but it still burns me up that I didn’t catch her.”

“It’s odd, isn’t it?” Green Lantern offered. “I mean, first this Moonbouncer guy Bruce ran into–”

“Moonwalker,” Batman corrected.

“Moonwalker,” Green Lantern said. “Now the Bookworm. Two brand-new villains in less than a week!”

“Is that so odd?” Green Arrow asked. “Back in the day, when I was clean-shaven and driving the Arrowcar, it seemed like there was a new bad guy in Star City every other day! I hadn’t finished cleaning the sand from the Clock King’s hourglass trap out of my quiver before Dr. Davis started making trouble for me. And don’t even get me started on the Camouflage King.”

“Where do these guys get their names, anyway?” Aquaman asked.

“Probably some computer program that generates them,” Zatanna offered. Green Arrow nodded agreement.

***

“Thanks for coming by to do patrol with me, Hal,” Green Arrow said, as he perched on the roof of the Star Tower, looking down over his city. His best friend, Green Lantern, hovered in the air next to him.

“No problem, Ollie,” Green Lantern said. “I guess you wanted to talk about something?”

“Yeah, it’s the wedding coming up,” Green Arrow said.

“Not getting cold feet, are you?” Green Lantern asked. “Thinking about backing out?”

“Hell, no!” Green Arrow said. “Dinah’s a wonderful woman, and I’m damned lucky to have her! Took me a long time to realize that, but I do now. It’s just, well…she wants us to write our own vows. I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Ollie, you’re a journalist,” Green Lantern said. “And you’ve been talking about writing a novel for two years now. You can put your thoughts into words.”

“That’s different,” Green Arrow said. “She’s talking about pouring my heart out, and reciting it in front of everybody! Geez, do you know how scary that is?”

“I know no fear, Ollie,” Green Lantern said.

“Yeah, right,” Green Arrow countered. “I know better, I’ve seen you when Carol got mad. But still. Here, I wrote out a rough draft; would you take a look at it?” Green Arrow produced a folded piece of paper from his belt and handed it to his friend. Green Lantern looked it over, and frowned.

“You can’t read these vows,” Green Lantern said.

“Why not?” Green Arrow asked.

“Well, for one thing,” Green Lantern said, “the whole thing rhymes!”

“It’s the only way I can remember it,” Green Arrow shrugged.

“‘My name is Ollie, and here is my story,’” Green Lantern read, “‘I was born in a small town in Missouri.’ That’s not even true!”

“So you come up with a rhyme for Massachusetts,” Green Arrow said.

Before Green Lantern could respond, a loud alarm sounded from the city below them. “Alarm,” Green Lantern snapped.

“Jewelry district,” Green Arrow said. “Come on!” Faster than Green Lantern’s eye could follow, the ace archer drew an arrow, notched it and fired, and was swinging down on the thin wire trailed out behind it. Green Lantern followed, flying under his ring power.

In seconds, the emerald crusaders had traced the alarm to a small jewelry store called Stitk’s Diamond Distributors. They noticed in a heartbeat that the door had been forced and remained ajar. Green Lantern glanced at his friend, holding up his ring hand formed into a fist. Green Arrow nodded once. Green Lantern aimed his ring at the store, and in a second the darkened emporium was brightly lit with green light.

“Whoa, baby!” came a startled voice from inside. “Turn off the high-beams, brother! You’re givin’ me major blinkage here!”

“What in the name of John Travolta do we have here?” Green Arrow asked, gaping at the intruder. The man wore a white “disco suit” of the style popular ten years before. His dark hair was slicked back with great quantities of hair oil. His shirt was open to the navel; across his chest a large gold medallion in the shape of a letter Q dangled from a chain around his neck. He wore a pair of sunglasses with black reflective lenses. What Green Arrow swore was a mood ring was around the ring finger of his left hand.

“Whoo-ee!” the anachronistic intruder cried. “Man, I was expectin’ the Robin Hood dude, this bein’ his town and all. But what you doin’ here, Ring-a-Ding? You get lost on your way back from Vulcan or wherever?”

Ignoring the comment, Green Lantern looked at his friend. “Shall we ask him his name, before we take him in?”

“Oh, yeah,” Green Arrow said, relaxing his grip on his bow somewhat. “I always like to know whose butt I’m kickin’.”

“Dudes, you can call me the Quintessential Man,” the intruder said. “As for butt-kickin’, well, we’ll see who’s the kicker and who’s the kickee, you dig?”

“Friend, in case you hadn’t noticed, you’re somewhat outnumbered,” Green Lantern pointed out.

“Correction, Greenie Kilowatt,” the Quintessential Man said. And in an eye blink, the emerald gladiators were facing five identical Quintessential Men.

“I was outnumbered,” the five Q-Men said in unison. “Looks like you are, now.”

***

“And then he split into five beings?” Aquaman asked.

“Yeah, caught us completely flat-footed,” Green Arrow admitted. “I mean, we weren’t expecting anything like that!”

“Yes, with the element of surprise added to the sudden outnumbering,” Green Lantern said, “the Quintessential Man made his getaway. At least he didn’t get to take any loot with him.”

“Didn’t seem to have any powers other than that,” Green Arrow added. “I mean, one of him slugged me, and it didn’t feel any stronger’n normal.”

“Interesting,” Superman said, rubbing his chin. “I know there is an extraterrestrial race whose natives have the power to split into three bodies. But five? That’s a new one on me.”

“This is gettin’ to be a downright epidemic of new villains!” Green Arrow ejaculated. “I mean, first that Moonwalker dude, then the Bookworm, and now Q-Man! What the heck, did the Injustice Gang hold a career day, or something?”

“‘Q-Man’?” Martian Manhunter asked.

“Drop the ‘wintessential’,” Green Arrow said.

The green-skinned giant shrugged slightly. “I suppose it does save some effort.”

“Ollie makes a point,” Hawkman said. “It is quite unusual for so many brand new super-villains to emerge at almost the same time. It seems very unlikely that the three incidents are unrelated.”

“You mean, someone is behind all three?” Flash asked.

“Possibly,” Hawkman said, theorizing. “Or perhaps the three are working together, perhaps coming from similar backgrounds or similar origins. In any case, the Justice League needs to strike back, find out all we can about these new menaces, and bring them to justice as quickly as possible.”

“No foolin’, Sherlock,” Green Arrow said. “Well, I’ll be ready for Q-Man next time we meet! He caught me by surprise with that there’s-five-of-me trick the first time, but now I’m wise to it!”

“The Bookworm still puzzles me,” Superman said. “I’m not sure how her creations work, how she does–”

Suddenly, the lights in the satellite meeting room went out, plunging the JLA into darkness.

“Wha?”

“What’s going on?”

“Who turned out the lights?”

Amid the chaos, a single light suddenly flared to life. The monitor device in the center of the meeting table, with screens facing all sides of the table, suddenly showed a brilliant image. The leering faces of Moonwalker, the Bookworm, and the Quintessential Man.

“Greetings, Justice League, from the Terroristic Triad,” Bookworm said smoothly. “I hope we didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

“How the devil did they get access to our computer system?” Hawkman swore.

“This is just to let you know that a new era is dawning,” the Bookworm continued. “The era of the Justice League is over! The world is ours to plunder, and there is nothing you can do to stop us!”

“You wanna bet, lady?” Green Arrow demanded, shaking a green-gloved fist at the screen. “The League will stop you! I guarantee it!”

Bookworm giggled, lifting her hand to her face. “Green Arrow, you tickle me,” she said. “How can the League stop us, when you’re all about to die? We’ve done more than turn out your lights, you see. We’ve cut all power to the satellite, sealed the doors, and sent you into planetfall. I predict you’re going to land somewhere in the Australian Outback, where you’ll make a nice big crater.”

“Neptune’s Beard!” Aquaman exploded.

“Ta-ta, Justice League,” Bookworm said. “Give my regards to the wombats and the wallabies.” And with that, the monitor went dark, plunging the whole satellite into blackness.

For a single heartbeat, silence reigned in the darkened satellite.

“Tornado–!” Batman snapped.

“I am on it, Batman,” Red Tornado said, flipping open the cover on a communications console serial port. The JLA’s awesome android touched his fingertips to the port, and cable connections snaked from his fingertips to plug him into the computer system. The collective JLA held its breath as five silent minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen.

Finally, the lights came back on. The silence was replaced by the usually-inaudible hum of machinery, now as loud as thunder by comparison with the silence.

“It’s done,” Red Tornado said, disconnecting himself. “It was not easy; the Bookworm’s control was quite effective. But it has been thoroughly erased. All systems are back online and under our control.”

“If she did it once, she could do it again,” Green Arrow pointed out. “How the heck did she do it, anyway?”

“Maybe her book conjured up some fictitious computer wizard,” Flash offered. “Somebody from Asimov, maybe.”

“I’ll write a failsafe program that’ll guard against future intrusions,” Hawkman said. “It may not hold forever–obviously the current safeguards didn’t–but hopefully, we’ll have this Terroristic Triad behind bars by then.”

“Blazes!” Green Arrow cried, slamming his fist onto the meeting table. “We’re not even safe in our own clubhouse anymore? What’s the world come to? We’re the Justice League, for cryin’ out loud! We just waltz in and bust ‘em up!”

“Excellent suggestion, Ollie,” Hawkman said. “Perhaps if you told us where to find them, we could do that.”

“Aw, nuts!” Green Arrow swore.

“Well, hopefully we can find them before tomorrow night,” Superman said.

“Why?” Green Arrow asked. “What’s tomorrow night?”

“Your bachelor party, Ollie,” Batman reminded. “Had you forgotten?”

“Cripes!” Green Arrow swore. “In all this excitement, I had! Geez, guys, can’t we put it off? I mean, there’s three nutty new bad guys on the loose, and they can penetrate our defenses! Don’t we have more important things to do?”

“Ollie, if we let the villains control our lives like that, they’ve won,” Aquaman pointed out. “Katar’s been planning this for weeks. It’s too late to change it.”

“Still won’t tell me where we’re goin’?” Green Arrow asked.

“It’s going to be a surprise, Ollie,” Hawkman said. “Trust me, you’ll enjoy it.”

“Aaah, I’d enjoy it better if I got to bust some Terroristic tail,” Green Arrow muttered. “But yeah, you’re right. We’ll go out an’ have a great time.”

“That’s the spirit,” Superman said, gently clapping his old friend on the back.

***

“I still think we should be out lookin’ for the Triad,” Ollie said, as the limousine pulled to a stop at the corner.

“They’ll keep, Ollie,” Bruce said. “You only get married once, you know.”

“Assuming Dinah doesn’t get wise and leave him,” Carter added.

“Up yours, feather duster!” Ollie snapped.

“OK, you two, enough with the fighting for one night,” Ralph said. Ollie found it creepy hearing Ralph’s voice coming out of an unrecognizable face. The Elongated Man had no secret identity, was a very public figure; to protect his friends’ secret identities, he had molded his malleable features into a very different face. Only he, Bruce, and Carter were in the limousine with Ollie; the others were meeting them at the location.

“Here we are,” Carter said. “All out.”

“At least I finally get to find out the big secret,” Ollie said. He opened the door of the limousine, and found a small group of men waiting in front of the entrance to a building. Clark Kent and Hal Jordan were there, as well as the Red Tornado in his John Smith identity; as were two Ollie had not been expecting.

“Roy!” Ollie cried, embracing his former ward. “You old son of a gun! I didn’t know you were coming!”

“As if I’d miss it,” Roy said. “And here’s someone else you may not have expected.”

“Hey, Ollie,” Ray Palmer said. “Hope there’s room for an old friend at your party.”

“Always, Ray,” Ollie said, wringing his old friend’s hand firmly. Ray Palmer had given up his identity of the Atom, but not his friendships with his former teammates. He and Ollie, the first two non-charter members of the League, had always shared a special bond.

“I heard Arthur and John couldn’t make it,” Ray said. “What about Wally?”

“He had to cancel at the last minute,” Carter said. “Something about Len Snart, I think. Well, come on, let’s go in!”

For the first time, Ollie looked up at the building to see where they were. It was the Take Six, a trendy jazz club in downtown Star City. Ollie was a frequent patron of the place.

“Nice,” he said. “You’re doing OK so far, Carter.”

Ollie’s friend and favorite sparring partner grinned. “Wait until you see what’s inside.” Inside, Ollie found the club deserted. Not surprising, his friends having rented it for a private party. A scantily-dressed waitress took their drink orders.

“And for you, sir–wow!” The young woman exclaimed. “I mean, excuse me, but aren’t you Bruce Wayne?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so,” Bruce smiled. “I’d like a ginger ale, please.”

“A ginger–you mean, as a mixer?” The waitress asked. “What do you want in it?”

“Ice,” Bruce replied. Wide-eyed, the waitress took the rest of the order and moved on.

“Well, this is a pretty good turn out,” Ollie said. “I still wish John and Arthur could have made it; and Wally too, he’s a good kid. But still, thanks for coming, everyone.”

“To the happy couple,” Clark said, raising his glass.

“Attention, gentlemen!” the master of ceremonies’ voice came from the stage. “Thank you all for choosing Take Six for your special event! And a heartfelt congratulations to the groom, Mr. Oliver Queen! I hope you’ll mention us in your column, Mr. Queen!”

“Depends on the show,” Ollie called back, in good spirit.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy that, sir,” the emcee promised. “Mr. Baron will be ready in just a few minutes!”

Ollie did a double-take. “Baron? D.D. Baron? THE D.D. Baron? You’re kidding, right?”

“Surprise, Ollie,” Carter said. “Your favorite blues guitarist, right?”

“Are you kidding?” Ollie said. “He’s the only blues guitarist! Everyone else is just trying to be him! Man, he never performs live anymore! How’d you swing this?”

“Has it been so long, Ollie,” Bruce asked, “that you forgot what enough money can buy?”

“Guess it has,” Ollie admitted. “Thanks, guys. This is going to be a real treat.”

Ollie sat motionless, eyes glued to the stage, waiting for a glimpse of his idol. Five minutes went by, and finally, the curtain parted. A middle-aged man, an African-American, sat on a stool, holding a guitar across his body.

“It’s him!” Ollie whispered. “It’s really him!”

“H’lo out there, cats,” Baron said into the microphone. “I understand there’s a big fan of mine out there in the audience tonight, someone who’s gettin’ ready to take the big plunge. Well, you’re a braver man than I am, brother. So here’s a little number just for you.” The master musician began to strum his guitar expertly, his fingers gliding along the strings with the ease born of decades of practice. A huge grin split Ollie’s bearded face as the music filled the club.

Suddenly, the music was disrupted by the sound of a muffled explosion. A huge cloud of thick dark smoke burst from the kitchen door into the club, completely hiding the stage from the view of the partygoers.

“What the Hell?!” Ollie cried out, leaping to his feet.

The smoke quickly cleared, and three figures became visible, standing in front of the stage. “Mr. Baron’s performance is canceled, due to circumstances beyond your control,” the Bookworm said haughtily.

“Son of a gun!” Ollie snarled.

“I do apologize for interrupting your party, gentlemen,” Moonwalker said. “But when we heard the famous D.D. Baron was performing live again, we knew his record company would pay a king’s ransom for his safe return.”

“And while I hate to rely on trite phrases,” Bookworm added, “don’t try anything and you won’t get hurt.”

“You pickin’ up what we’re puttin’ down, amigos?” Quintessential Man asked.

“Hal–!” Ollie growled in a whisper.

“I hear you,” Hal whispered back. At a silent command from its master, the power ring sent out a blinding flash of brilliant emerald light. The Terroristic Triad covered their eyes and exclaimed in astonishment. When they lowered their hands, where eight ordinary men had sat, eight costumed heroes now stood. Green Lantern’s power ring had even clothed Ray Palmer in his old Atom costume.

“The Justice League!” Moonwalker cried.

“Aw, man!” Quintessential Man declared. “Major bummer!”

“It was a trap!” Bookworm cried. “They lured us here, disguised as a private party! And we fell for it!”

“Um, OK, we’ll go with that,” Green Arrow whispered, drawing an arrow.

“Oh no you don’t!” Moonwalker declared, throwing out his hands. Instantly the club was plunged into blackness.

“Dang, Bats, you weren’t kiddin’ about this darkness!” Green Arrow declared.

“I’ll say,” Superman said. “Even my super-vision can’t penetrate it!”

“Well, let’s see what a little old-fashioned light on the subject can do!” Green Arrow notched a magnesium flare arrow and fired it where he remembered Moonwalker standing. Through the darkness he heard the burst of the flare, followed by Moonwalker’s scream. Then the lights came on.

“Good shot, G.A.,” Elongated Man said. “Now let’s clean house!”

“Time to go Five-Alive!” Quintessential Man declared, and in an eye blink five of him stood where one had been. The five villains separated, each running in a different direction. Batman, Elongated Man, Hawkman, Red Tornado and Arsenal each pursued one.

“I’ll wrap up the lethal librarian,” Green Lantern declared, “then I’ll help you guys with Q-Man!”

“Not so fast, Green Lantern!” Bookworm declared, clutching her book tightly. Suddenly a portly man with a black beard, in purple robes and a golden crown, appeared before her.

“Who do we have here?” Green Lantern asked, firing a beam from his power ring. “Old King Cole?”

The purple-robed king grabbed the edge of one of the club’s round tables, and turned it on its edge like a shield. At his touch, the table turned to solid gold, and the power beam bounced off it harmlessly.

“Whoops,” Green Lantern corrected. “King Midas!”

With a snarl, Midas lifted the golden table and hurled it at Green Lantern, too fast for the emerald gladiator to dodge. The table struck him and he crashed to the floor.

“GL!” Green Arrow cried, seeing his friend bowled over by the golden table.

“I’ll handle it, Arrow,” Superman said, streaking through the air across the club. “That golden touch of yours is magic in nature, if I remember my storybooks, Midas, but I can stop you without touching you!” The man of steel blew a concentrated blast of super-breath at the robed king, but before the column of air could touch him, Midas vanished.

“Didn’t learn your lesson from our first encounter, Superman?” the Bookworm asked. “Time to introduce another character to the story!” With those words, an elderly man in flowing blue robes and conical hat appeared. His long gray beard hung down to his rope belt, and his eyes burned with molten fire.

“Oh, no,” Superman gasped. “Merlin the Magician!”

“Saladam balshazar oblivia!” Merlin chanted, flinging his hands forward at the Man of Steel. A bolt of magical energy leapt from his gnarled old fingers, striking Superman in midair. With a scream the Metropolis marvel fell to the floor.

Meanwhile, the five Quintessential Men were working as a unit, and the five Justice Leaguers getting in each other’s way trying to capture all of him. Elongated Man’s stretching body had become tangled in the Red Tornado’s spinning torso, and both heroes lay on the floor in a twisted heap. Arsenal tried to get the drop on two of them with a sonic arrow, but the Quintessential Man changed tactics then and merged back into a single entity. The arrow sped past where two of his bodies had been, and finally found a target in Hawkman, who clapped his hands over the sides of his helmet to shut out the sound.

“The caped one has fallen before the mystic might of Merlin,” the sorcerer declared. “Who is next? You, perhaps?” Merlin addressed the final comment to the Atom, who was running up to him defiantly.

“Perhaps,” Ray Palmer said, “and perhaps not.” Ray flung a handful of something at the robed magician. “Have some white dwarf material!”

“NOOoooo!!” Merlin cried out in a diminishing voice, as he shrank out of sight.

“Spe–Arsenal, Maneuver MF-73!” Green Arrow called out. Arsenal looked back with a confused look on his face.

“MF-73?” he repeated. “Now what was–oh, yeah!” Hi s face lit up with recognition then. He drew an arrow and fired it at the single Quintessential Man standing before him.

“Nice try, arrow guy!” Quintessential Man called out, and suddenly split into five. The arrow whistled past where he had been. But Green Arrow had been prepared for it and launched three blunt-headed arrows at once. One struck one Quintessential Man in the temple, bounced off, and tagged another in the center of the forehead. A second struck one on the point of his chin. A third struck a fourth Quintessential Man on the jaw, bounced off, struck the top of a table, then ricocheted up and caught the final Q-Man under his chin. Almost as one, the five Quintessential Men sank to the floor. Once unconscious, the five villains merged into one.

“Now, that’s more like it!” Green Arrow grinned.

The emerald archer didn’t have much time to gloat, as the lights suddenly went out again. “Aw, no, I thought he was taken care of!” Green Arrow muttered. “GL, are you awake?”

“Unh, barely,” Green Lantern muttered. “Hey, the lights! Moonwalker?”

“Uh huh,” Green Arrow said. “How about some of that in-blackest-night stuff?”

“Coming up,” Green Lantern responded. Green Arrow barely made out the glow of the power ring, piercing the darkness. Then he saw another green glow; the body of Moonwalker, made to fluoresce emerald by Green Lantern’s power ring. Thus given a target, Green Arrow launched an electro-shock arrow. The shaft sped true, striking Moonwalker square in the chest. The sub-lethal current sent him sprawling to the ground, unconscious. The lights came on instantly.

“Two down, or is it six?” Green Arrow said. “Anyway, one to go. Where’s–uh oh!” The emerald archer saw a beautiful woman in flowing white robes, a bright golden light streaming from her body. In her hand she held a large brass cap. Batman knelt on the floor in front of her, covering his face with his hands.

“If I remember my English lit, that’s the Ghost of Christmas Past,” Green Arrow said. “She must be makin’ Bats recall his childhood, before his parents were killed! Man, that’s dirty fighting!”

“My comrades have fallen, but I do not need them!” Bookworm declared, holding her leather-bound tome high above her head. “The only help I need is from my friends from books, and I can call them all down to destroy you!”

“Lady,” Green Arrow said, drawing an arrow, “you talk too much.” The arrow sped like a bullet, striking the book and knocking it out of Bookworm’s hands. The arrow then exploded into flame, setting the dusty old book afire. The dry pages blazed quickly.

“NO!” Bookworm shrieked. “MY BOOK!”

The Ghost of Christmas Past vanished then. Superman helped Batman to his feet, assuring his old friend that everything was all right. Hawkman swooped down to grab the Bookworm’s arms, pinning them behind her back.

“Good shot,” Hawkman said, smiling.

“Thanks,” Green Arrow responded with a grin.

Minutes later, the villains were securely bound. The eight heroes stood around them, triumphant over their foes. “We’ll deliver them to the authorities, now that the fight’s gone out of them,” Batman said. “Good job, everyone.”

“So much for the Terroristic Triad,” Green Arrow said.

Hawkman took Green Arrow aside, where the villains could not hear. “Ollie,” he said, “I’m sorry your party turned out this way. I had tried to give you the best bachelor party I could, but–”

Green Arrow grinned. “Are you kiddin’, Hawky? You gave me what I love most of all: a good fight!” Green Arrow clapped his old friend on the back. “I’ve never had more fun at a party!”

Hawkman returned the grin.

Epilogue

“GA, can I give you a lift home?” Green Lantern said. “No need for all of us to stay and baby-sit these beaten baddies.”

“Yeah, sure,” Green Arrow said. “Guess I’ll see you guys later. Thanks again for the party!”

“Bearded cretin,” Bookworm hissed under her breath.

“Nyah, nyah, nyah,” Green Arrow retorted. A moment later, the two emerald champions were gone; on the way out the window, Green Lantern looked over his shoulder and winked. When the two were safely gone, all the ones remaining burst out laughing; even the Terroristic Triad.

“Katar, I have to hand it to you,” Superman said. “It worked beautifully!”

“It certainly did,” Red Tornado said, untying Moonwalker’s bonds. “He never suspected a thing, and just as you predicted, he enjoyed the fight more than anything else we could have done!”

Moonwalker pulled off his full-face mask, revealing the golden head of Aquaman. “It was a good idea, modifying Doctor Light’s weapon to produce this darkness beam,” he said. “And I was a good choice to wear it, my undersea eyesight letting me see through the darkness.”

“I don’t know what part of my role was harder,” Wally West said, stripping off the wig and false moustache of the Quintessential Man. “Timing my speed just right so that I appeared to be in five places at once, or talking in that corny disco dialogue!”

“At least we only had one role to play,” the Bookworm said, taking off her glasses and shaking out her long black hair, revealing the beautiful features of Zatanna. “J’Onn was the one who had to keep switching parts!”

“Indeed,” the Martian Manhunter said, suddenly becoming visible. “It was a challenge playing all the roles of the fictional characters the ‘Bookworm’ conjured up. I confess I had to do a great deal of reading up for the part.”

“It’s a good thing Ollie didn’t hear me whisper the spell that turned that table to gold,” Zatanna said.

“Katar, thanks again for asking me along,” Ray Palmer said. “This mock fight was just like old times! You guys will always be a part of the best years of my life!”

“And you will always be a Justice Leaguer, Ray Palmer,” Hawkman said, “no matter what.”

“You guys realize, of course,” Arsenal said, “Ollie’s gonna kill us when he finds out what we did!”

“True,” Hawkman said. “But he’ll have to admit, he had fun.”