Attack of the Fifty-Foot Bunny
by Starsky Hutch 76
Star City is under attack by a 50-foot-tall bunny rabbit. You won’t want to miss seeing Arrowette and Flare take it down!
April 3, 1988:
“So, you think your mom is gonna be pissed?” Flare asked Arrowette as they drove through the streets of Star City on the Arrowcycle.
“Honestly? I don’t think she’ll even notice I’m gone,” Arrowette said. “Cissie Jones-Carter lives for these holiday benefits where she can relive the glory days of her Olympic fame.”
“Yeah, but she might want her darling daughter there so she can do a photo-op,” Flare said.
“Well, she’ll just have to get over it,” Arrowette said. “I didn’t want to have to answer another reporter’s question about why I haven’t gone into the family business and won a few medals of my own.”
“Yeah, but–” Flare stopped short and said, “Do you hear that? It sounds like Here Comes Peter Cottontail!”
“Yeah,” Arrowette said, smiling at the old children’s song. “Let’s go see what it is. Might be fun!”
The Arrowcycle raced down the street, turned a corner, and skidded to a sudden halt.
“That doesn’t look like fun,” Flare said.
At the end of the street was what looked like a giant cartoon rabbit in pastel overalls and a bow tie lumbering down the street as “Here Comes Peter Cottontail” chimed in a high-pitched chorus from hidden speakers. Every once in a while, the giant bunny would reach into its colorful basket and pull out a giant Easter egg, which it would fling into a building or car, sending people screaming in the opposite direction.
“No, it doesn’t,” Arrowette said. “But we have to do something, anyway.”
The Arrowcycle raced toward the giant rabbit, firing explosive arrows, blasting away chunks the fur on its legs, and revealing metal. The rabbit looked down and lobbed a giant egg toward them, narrowly missing the Arrowcycle.
“It’s a giant robot!” Arrowette exclaimed.
“What? You really thought it was the Easter Bunny?” Flare quipped.
“Funny girl,” Arrowette said. “Ready to go by for another pass?”
“You betcha,” Flare said, attaching a grappling hook to her crossbow. As they swung by again, she fired up at the giant robot rabbit, and as the grappling hook arrow hit home, she swung up onto its back.
Arrowette skidded to a halt and waited for her partner to fire an arrow with another guide rope down to her. As soon as the cable came down, she began the climb up to join Flare.
“How are we going to stop this thing?” Flare called down to her.
“I dunno. I haven’t thought that far,” Arrowette said.
“How do super-heroes usually stop giant rampaging robots?” asked Flare.
“Make for the head, I guess,” Arrowette said. “And we’d better hurry. He’s still got a lot of eggs left.” As if to punctuate that statement, the fifty-foot-tall bunny robot lobbed another giant egg through the front of a shopping center.
“He doesn’t even seem to know we’re here,” Flare said. “We might as well be fleas.”
Suddenly, the giant robot sat down, and his hind leg came up toward them. “He’s going to scratch! Jump for it!” Arrowette screamed. She reached into her quiver and fired to the ground. The canister on the trick arrow exploded into a huge mound of foam for them to crash into unharmed.
“I guess I spoke too soon. Now what do we do?” Flare said, watching as the robot stood up to continue its rampage as Here Comes Peter Cottontail played on.
“We’ve gotta stop him while Star City is still standing,” Arrowette said.
“What do you think the story with this thing, anyway?” Flare said. “A department store float gone bad?”
“If he was filled with hot air like a float, maybe he wouldn’t be doing so much damage,” Arrowette said as the robot lobbed another giant egg into a warehouse building, caving in its front doorway. She watched as its large sign, sporting the name Star City Industrial Supply Co., fell to the ground.
A light went off in her head. “I just got an idea. Follow me!”
Ten minutes later, Arrowette barreled through the wreckage of the front of the building, carrying a spool of electrical cable on a dolly. They took a shortcut through an alley to come out ahead of the bunny’s path.
Slung over Arrowette’s shoulder was a compound bow even more powerful than her usual one. “Are you sure you’ve got the strength for that? Flare asked, looking at the large bow they’d snagged from a damaged sporting goods store. “I think both Red or Green Arrows would have trouble with it.”
“My shoulder will be smarting for a while, but I’ll manage,” Arrowette said. “My ordinary tools wouldn’t have the heft necessary for the job.”
The ground suddenly shook, and the high-pitched singing of Here Comes Peter Cottontail filled the air. “Bugs is back,” Flare said as a shadow began to cast over them.
Arrowette raised the compound bow and aimed a fierce-looking metal arrow up toward the rabbit’s head. It took to the air, trailing electrical cable behind it. She aimed another arrow toward the power lines. It struck the generator atop a pole with a shower of sparks. Voltage traveled up the length of the cable from one metal arrow to another and flooded the giant robot, causing it to smoke and flame at the joints. The robot began to totter on its giant rabbit feet and then fell face forward onto the street. The recording of Here Comes Peter Cottontail slowed to a deep bass and then stopped altogether.
“We did it! We did it!” Flare said excitedly. She looked around at the wreckage of the street. All electric signs and stoplights were out thanks to having to use the power lines to stop its rampage. “So now what?”
“I don’t know,” Arrowette said. “I wish we could have apprehended whoever was responsible. It makes no sense.”
“Help! Help! Get me out of here! The place is on fire!” a voice suddenly called out.
Arrowette raced for the rabbit’s head and fired an explosive arrow at one of the large cartoon eyes. When it exploded, it revealed the doll-head mask of the second Toyman trapped behind a set of controls.
“Oh, now it makes sense,” Arrowette said. “So your plan was to bash in all the storefronts in town, then come back and rob them?”
“Yeah, and I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids,” he sneered. “As it was, I only made it up one lousy street!”
“So we haul him in?” Flare asked.
“Nah,” Arrowette said, firing two fire extinguisher arrows into the control room. “Let’s leave him for the police. If I know Toyman, there are robots dressed like Muppets or something like that all up and down the street having a field day right now.”
“Come on, girls,” Toyman whined as they began to race down the street. “Don’t leave me like this. I have to go to the bathroom! Let me out!”
“You know, Bonnie, this really does beat one of your mom’s benefits,” Flare said as she spotted what looked like a man-sized yellow bird stepping around a giant Easter egg to rob a jewelry store.
“You said it,” Arrowette agreed.