Johnny Thunder
Peril of the Purple Priestess
by Libbylawrence
Daisy Thunder leaned forward and began to gently kiss her blond husband as he stared idly at a TV set.
“You know, I just can’t get into these I Dream of Jeannie reruns. I mean, this ordinary lug lucks out to get a magical being who places herself at his beck and call! It’s too far fetched!” he said.
Daisy grinned at the irony. “That’s very funny, coming from the famous Johnny Thunder: JSA member and master of the mystical Thunderbolt!”
Johnny laughed and took her hand. “OK, maybe it’s not that unlikely. Still, my Bolt’s no Barbara Eden!”
Daisy playfully slapped his hand. “And that’s a good thing. You don’t need her when you’ve got me in your harem!”
Johnny smiled and said, “True! I didn’t mean anything. You are the only gal for me!”
Daisy said, “Good! Now get your coat. We need to go shopping.”
Johnny frowned “Aw! Just take my credit card. I’d rather arm wrestle the Ultra Humanite in his ape body then wait on you to finish hitting the shoe stores!”
Daisy pulled him up and pouted. “Get going, Mister Thunder! We’re shopping for you! You need a new suit for the ball at the Zarikan Embassy. I went to school with Eleanora Ankova, and she wrangled us an invite.”
Johnny sighed. “OK, OK! I hope they have something in green,” he said wistfully.
***
Much later, a weary Johnny sat across from Daisy and Eleanora as they hosted a small dinner party for the pretty Zarikanian. Eleanora was surprisingly free from stuffy airs, and she laughed with a loud delight as Daisy recounted some of Johnny’s mishaps.
“And he caught the Radio Robber and turned him in before realizing that his pants were ripped in the back!” she continued.
Johnny blushed and said, “Enough about me. Eleanora, you must be plenty nervous about getting everything just right for the big party at the embassy. It’s not every night that a small nation like Zarikan gets to present the wonders of its revitalized economy to global big shots!”
Eleanora nodded. “All too true. I have been working my staff to death. We hope to interest American investors by showing that Zarikan may be small, but it has much to offer. It’s almost a mini- world’s fair that features only the best of our island nation.”
Daisy said, “Don’t worry. We’ll be there for moral support. What could go wrong?”
The pretty Mrs. Thunder would learn the answer all too soon!
***
Johnny paced the floor at Peachy Pet Ice Cream’s headquarters. He shrugged as a secretary glanced up apologetically for what seemed like the fifth time.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Thunder, but Ms. Thunder is too busy to see you. She’s got people on the line from overseas, and she’s swamped with the ad men,” whined the dark haired receptionist.
Johnny grinned ruefully. “It’s OK, Miss Fine. I guess Peachy Pet is just too busy for her old man these days.”
He sighed as he exited the office, leaving the Flushing native to polish her nails.
“Even though I put on a brave front for Frann back there, I am worried that Peachy is sore at me or something. She has been avoiding me for weeks now. Say, you know, I should just storm on inside her office!” he muttered.
Since Johnny had accidentally spoken the words, “Say you,” which were homonyms for his magic phrase “Cei-U,” he had summoned his magical ally the Thunderbolt. The pinkish fifth dimensional being always responded to Johnny’s commands in the most literal manner possible. Thus, in a flash Johnny found himself standing inside Peachy Pet’s office as thunder echoed and a mini rain cloud gushed around him.
“Enough already!” he snapped as his mystical Thunderbolt shrugged sheepishly.
“Into all lives some rain must fall!” suggested the Thunderbolt.
Johnny’s adopted daughter Peachy Pet fumed as she slammed down a phone and glared at her father. She was a blonde woman in her late forties. She looked fabulous even for her years. She had a glow of vitality and health about her that would have been flattering on a twenty-year-old!
“Can you rain… I mean… reign him in? This is a designer suit!” she sputtered.
“Sorry. T-Bolt, make everything dry. Looks like in over forty years, you’d learn about figurative language!” sighed Johnny.
“You’re never gonna stop the rain by complaining!” smirked the Thunderbolt as he obeyed Johnny’s command to clean and dry everything and everyone.
Johnny gazed at his daughter. “Peachy, you look swell. I’m sorry to cause you trouble. I just wanted to see you and check in with my favorite kid!”
Peachy smiled and said, “I’m sorry to sound like such a grump. I am really busy. ”
At that moment, Miss Fine’s shrill scream echoed from outside, and two burly men pushed past the receptionist to enter Peachy’s office. They ignored Johnny to confront his blonde daughter.
“You must come with us. The mistress demands it,” said one handsome, redheaded man.
“Time is precious, even to one such as her!” said the other man.
Peachy nodded and turned pale. “Of course. I’ll join you now! I hope she isn’t angry!”
Johnny said, “Hold on a second! Who are these guys? They can’t just burst in and cause a scene like this!”
Peachy glared at him. “Why not? You just did. I have to go.”
She rushed past him as he said, “Freeze!”
Instantly, the Thunderbolt’s magic placed Peachy, the two men, and Ms. Fine in a trance-like state.
“Call them Scott Hamilton, ’cause they’re on ice!” smiled the Thunderbolt as he mimicked Ms. Fine by buffing his nails.
Johnny said, “Thanks. Now let me get some answers. Those guys look vaguely familiar to me. I don’t like their manners or the way Peachy responded to the summons of this mysterious mistress.”
Johnny approached the nearest man. His elegant red hair and distinguished manner made him an unlikely hired goon. Johnny had plenty of experience with those types. He gestured toward the man who gazed vacantly in front of him without blinking.
“Say, you know, these guys need name tags! That would help me identify them. I know I’ve seen them before,” he said.
The Thunderbolt grinned, and large placards appeared on each man’s chest. The first one said “James Harrington Davis” and the second label read “Rocky Monroe.” Johnny frowned as another label appeared on his suit.
“Very funny. I know who I am. Thanks to you, I also know these two. Monroe was a rock and roll performer in the 1950s. He looks virtually unchanged. Last time I saw his picture on one of those ‘whatever happened to’ shows, he looked like an older man. As for Davis, he’s the oil millionaire who made his fortune back in the 1930s. It’s weird how young he also looks,” said Johnny as he cast off the placard.
The Thunderbolt said, “Master John, perhaps you failed to notice that Peachy also looks considerably younger than her age would justify.”
Johnny nodded. “I did notice that. This forms an ugly pattern. I want you to do exactly as I say. Listen up!”
The Thunderbolt’s jagged head suddenly sprouted huge elephantine ears. “I’m all ears!”
Johnny smiled. “Good. You’re so often a pain in the neck. Now, here’s what I want you to do!” he began.
***
Johnny, magically disguised as Peachy Pet, entered a large building and stumbled through the long entry hall. “She” frowned and spoke to the unseen but hovering Thunderbolt, “You made me Peachy’s double as I wished, but you didn’t make it easy to walk in high heels.”
The Thunderbolt grinned. “I can’t do everything; talk to Vanna White. I did as you said — we left Peachy frozen in her office, and I made you look just like her so we could accompany the Rover Boys to their secret lair. Some people would consider that a good day’s work!” he sniffed indignantly.
Johnny nodded. “Sorry. I’m worried about Peachy. You said it was magic that had altered her looks and made her much younger. That means we’re dealing with the supernatural. I’d prefer good old-fashioned thugs.”
Johnny had been escorted to the large house by Davis and Monroe, who waited outside. They had no recollection of encountering him or his Thunderbolt, nor did they realize that the woman they brought to their base was not what “she” seemed.
Johnny frowned as the scent of a strong and exotic perfume wafted through the room. He felt the room grow warmer and the air become thicker with the fragrance. He thought of the many exotic lands to which he had traveled over the years, and experience taught him to be wary.
“Switch me back. I’m going to confront this mistress directly,” he whispered.
Instantly he returned to his traditional appearance. He frowned as the Thunderbolt muttered, “Just when I was getting kind of sweet on you!”
Johnny felt odd. The fragrance seemed to swell around him. He felt warm, and his vision began to weaken.
Room’s moving. Some kind of drug! he thought as he struggled to speak. His mouth was dry and his muscles were limp. He could neither move nor speak. Can’t command the T-Bolt! This could be trouble! he thought as he struggled against the narcotic perfume.
He fell forward and looked up as a woman entered the room. She was dressed entirely in purple. She had flowing blonde hair and wore a lavender evening gown, hosiery, and high heels. A robe of sorts was draped across her bare shoulders. She spoke with an odd accent that was somehow familiar to Johnny even through his drugged stupor.
“You poor man. You actually thought I was not watching as you affected that most bizarre transformation? How naïve! You need someone to care for you. Do not worry. I shall see that you are taken care of in a manner befitting all those who dare attempt to thwart my divine will. Such as the way of Sinestra, the Purple Priestess!” she said.
Johnny passed out with Sinestra’s overwhelming perfume clouding his senses.
***
The first thing Johnny saw when he woke up was the lovely face of Sinestra as she stood over him. He noticed just how delicately her blonde hair curled around her alabaster face. Oddly enough, he had failed to admire such beauty before! He immediately realized just how much he wanted to please her. She was so wonderful. She had everything any man could want in a woman. Serving her would be the best way he could spend his life. He frowned as he fought the thoughts that raced through his mind. He knew that she was deadly and that it was only due her intoxicating perfumes that he wanted to serve her. He also realized that he felt as if he had been newly reinvigorated, as if by magic.
She smiled and whispered in a low throaty tone, “You awake? Good. I saw you transform yourself from female to male. I wish you to use such magic in service of Sinestra the Purple Priestess. You do want to serve me, do you not?”
Johnny heard his voice as he said, “Yes!” OK, she gave me some drug that makes me want to obey her, he thought. It must be like whatever she gave to Monroe, Davis and, I’m guessing, to Peachy. It makes them younger but also gives them an overwhelming urge to obey Sinestra. Somehow it’s not controlling me fully. I bet the fact that I’ve been around the T-Bolt’s magic so long over the years has given me a limited immunity. Then again, maybe Odin’s boon that gave me youth countered her drug that does the same thing.
Sinestra stood up and swept her filmy purple robe aside as she walked across the room. “Excellent. Nothing should prevent you from serving the divinity that is Sinestra! I wish you to use your magic to provide me with unlimited wealth. No longer shall I be content to merely sell youth potions to the needy and aging wealthy while gaining their very wills as well due to the additives of my purple pills.”
Johnny said, “Say, you know, the unseen forces at my command should produce a pile of cash!”
The Thunderbolt manifested invisibly and created a huge stack of money. He obeyed Johnny’s literal wording so that no one except Thunder could see the pink Thunderbolt.
Good thinking on his part. He knows that Legs over there doesn’t realize that I exist. I was invisible when Master John was brought to her. She thinks he’s doing the magic on his own. What a joke! mused the Bolt.
Sinestra laughed and tossed handfuls of money in the air. “Lovely! If one as lofty as I could enjoy the sordid and material, then this would truly excite me!”
Johnny thought, She’s a nut. She refers to herself in third person at times and thinks she is some type of goddess! If I can keep my wits about me, she’ll never realize that my Bolt is doing the magic, and that I have some free will still.
Sinestra caressed Johnny’s face and cooed, “Now, tomorrow we shall avenge my celestial presence upon those who dared doubt my immortal power. Tomorrow we shall destroy the assembled nobles of Zarikan!”
Johnny gulped as he listened to her silky and compelling voice. She wants to destroy the crowd at the embassy party! I can only imagine why. She must be from that island. She does have an accent like Eleanora’s!
He tried to speak, but to his dismay he could not say a word without being commanded to do so by the impressive blonde. Got to bide my time. When she tells me to do something I have to do it, and in order to work my magic I need to speak to the T-Bolt. Maybe I can keep choosing my literal commands so that he can free me or stop that cold hearted snake! thought Johnny.
His eyes widened as he saw dozens of youthful and often famous figures working around the place serving their mistress loyally. Some were Hollywood stars and others came from the political world. One figure was Peachy Pet!
Oh no! he thought. The T-Bolt’s hour of control of her ended when I was captured. I guess she rushed here like the rest. Poor kid. She must have felt weird being older looking than Daisy or me. I guess she bought youth from Sinestra like these other wealthy folks, and in doing so she became the Purple Priestess’s slave!
Peachy Pet had been compelled to come to the lair of the Purple Priestess for the exact reasons her heroic father had deduced. She had fallen so deeply under the siren spell of Sinestra that she did little more than recognize Johnny’s helpless form when she passed him to bow to Sinestra and kiss the hem of her purple robe.
Sinestra turned to Johnny and smiled. She walked with a mincing flounce as she drew nearer. She seemed to fear that touching the ground would soil her garments or reflect badly on her imagined divinity. “I tire of creating my purple pills by slave labor of the ordinary kind. I command you to produce more pills like this one, my pet!” she whispered as she placed a small purple pill in Johnny’s hand.
He said, “Take me where I can get more pills like this one for Sinestra!” he cried. He landed hard as the Thunderbolt carried him at super speed across the globe to an ornate building. He said, “Now, Bolt, free me from her spell completely.”
The Thunderbolt smiled and said, “You are as normal as you were to begin with!”
Johnny said, “Yeah! I feel better. I guess even her spell has a certain range. Once I was out of her region of influence I was able to talk.”
The Thunderbolt said, “Not much of an improvement if you ask me!”
Johnny ignored the traditional good-natured banter and said, “This is where her feel good pills came from. So where are we? Looks familiar!”
A lovely blonde in a tunic entered and gasped, “Mr. Thunder! What brings you to Science Isle?”
“Paula? You’re Wonder Woman’s pal, Paula. This must be your lab near Paradise Isle where Wonder Woman was born. I guess I’m lucky I landed here, since you Amazons don’t let men on the main island.”
Paula said, “I am an Amazon by adoption. Now, I ask you only how may I help you? Any friend of Princess Diana’s is a friend to me.”
Johnny said, “This pill supposedly came from here. Can you tell me more about it?”
Paula shook her head. “This is a modification of a pill containing energy from what we call the purple healing ray. Diana and I have made pill versions as well. This one carries the healing factor but has been altered in some way. Let me examine it.”
Johnny watched as one of the most brilliant minds on earth studied the pill. Paula had been a Nazi at one time and as such had fought Wonder Woman and other heroes, including Johnny himself. She had reformed and had long been an ally of the Amazing Amazon and her Justice Society pals.
She said, “Johnny, this pill has been created so that it gives the one who takes it added vitality but enslaves them to the will of the one who gives the dose. The creator must be very clever. However, what concerns me is: how did she or he acquire samples of our healing ray pills upon which to base her formula?”
Johnny said, “A real creepy lady named Sinestra made it. She comes from Zarikan and calls herself the Purple Priestess.”
Paula ran to a machine and hit a switch after typing in some data. “Let the omniwave scope show what we know of her. Diana encountered her once or twice before in the late 1940s.”
The Amazon device displayed the cold but lovely features of the Purple Priestess.
Johnny said, “That’s the doll, all right! She fought Wonder Woman, huh? I guess one of her other foes swiped a pill and gave it to Sinestra!”
Paula smiled. “Indeed! There have been renegade Amazons before, like Keela or Mavis, who could easily have stolen one sample and given it to Sinestra. She has a real genius, since the normal pill does not produce either youth or enslave one’s mind.”
Johnny said, “Thanks! I know she plans to attack this embassy party I’m supposed to attend. I’ll have to guard the place and nab her when she shows her purple puss!”
Paula said, “Good luck to you. She was very deadly when Diana fought her in 1947. She tried to control Zarikan’s royal family. Queen Allura of Zarikan is still living, although her father died years ago.”
Johnny nodded. “Allura is scheduled to appear at the party. I bet Sinestra will send her slaves to kill her. I have to stop her. You see, one of her slaves is my daughter!”
Paula frowned. “I know all too well how much a parent will risk for her child. I pray you shall succeed.”
Johnny gave her a wink as he prepared to depart. “Sure. I stopped you, didn’t I?”
As his pink Thunderbolt carried him away, Paula smiled. “He’s a remarkable man! No wonder the Princess Diana is so fond of him!”
***
Johnny and Daisy Thunder entered the Zarikan Embassy as wealthy men and women of influence mingled in the festively decorated hall. Johnny had tried to convince his often-childish wife to remain at home, but she had stubbornly refused to obey. He hoped the precautions he had taken would enable him to stop the Purple Priestess and free Peachy Pet. He had decided not to try to rescue her until the attack on the embassy since he felt certain that Sinestra would not harm her. She obviously saw her as merely one of hundreds of wealthy pawns. Johnny vowed to change all that!
Daisy let out a high pitched squeal as she grabbed his arm and pointed toward a lovely brunette. “That’s Queen Allura! She looks so pretty,” said Daisy.
Johnny grinned. “She’s swell, but you look even better!”
Daisy fluffed at her hair and said, “If you think so then that’s all that matters!”
Johnny said to himself, “Oh man! The place is full of beautiful and handsome types, and any of them could owe their looks and vitality to that witch. They could all be her slaves. Got to be calm and keep my wits about me.”
He smiled when Sinestra herself appeared in the entrance, and her heady perfume filled the air. As she entered, men and women stiffened as if they were puppets awaiting their mistress’s commands. The truth was not far from this analogy.
Johnny said, “Say, you know, if that weird perfume of hers was just ordinary garlic, we’d be fine!”
Instantly, the Purple Priestess gasped as her drugged fragrance became nothing more exotic than garlic! She shrieked in anger and said, “Kill Allura and that man! Your mistress commands their deaths!” The room became a place of chaos as people surged for the frightened queen and a stalwart Johnny.
“Oh, Johnny! Do something!” cried Daisy.
Johnny smiled. “T-Bolt, free everyone’s minds now!”
The pink Thunderbolt flashed across the room and his magic restored their freedom. The men and women stopped in their attack and tried to understand what had been clouding their minds for so long.
Sinestra approached Johnny and reached into her voluminous robe. “I had other weapons at my disposal!”
Johnny said, “Get rid of her robes!”
The Thunderbolt grinned, and in seconds Sinestra stood helpless in the middle of the embassy wearing nothing more than a lavender bikini. She gasped in shock and outrage as embassy security gripped her arms and led her away.
“This broad reeks!” said one guard as an indignant Sinestra struggled against the mixed concerns of getting her revenge and saving her now lost dignity.
Daisy elbowed Johnny. “Did you really need to leave her in her underwear like that?”
Johnny shrugged. “I figured it would keep her from using any of those hidden drugs and perfumes from her robe, and it would embarrass her. She lost all power over these folks when the T-Bolt freed them, but it did them all some good to see that their goddess was just a madwoman in exotic clothes!”
The Thunderbolt smirked as he said, “Surrre. That’s why you gave that order. Yep.”
Allura and Eleanora thanked Johnny warmly as the party continued. “I cannot thank you enough. She only sold youth to the very powerful and wealthy. She brought them here to kill me, but after you cured them of her control many stayed and are interested in investing in our nation,” said a relieved Allura.
Johnny said, “That’s great, your Majesty. Now, I have family business.” He rushed up to Peachy Pet. She was talking to Daisy and looked forlorn.
“Peachy, are you OK? The T-Bolt freed you all but left the rejuvenating effects of the pill. I figured it would be better, since it has to be strange having folks who look younger than you,” he said.
Peachy embraced him warmly and said, “I know! Thank you so much. I was a real jerk to try to shut you out. Being my age and still single for all these years since my husband died, especially now that my kids are almost all grown up, drove me to extreme measures. Some friends had bought the pills from Sinestra, so I did as well. One dose had me younger but in her power.”
Johnny said, “Well, now you’re free and young, and from now on you come to me with your problems.”
Peachy nodded. “I will. Now, how about a dance?”
Johnny smiled broadly. “I’d be delighted.”
They passed a pleasant evening together as their family bonded once more. Later, as Johnny suggested heading home, Daisy frowned and said, “We can’t go yet. I want to get some fashion tips from Allura.”
Johnny sighed and said, “Where are those purple pills when I need them?”
