Red Robin

Who Laughs Last?

by Libbylawrence

As lightning flashed and thunder boomed, a decidedly odd gathering occurred within an old castle that rested in the hills of Gotham Heights. The European castle had been brought over from its original resting-place long ago by an eccentric and wealthy recluse. While he had been considered strange by many people in Gotham City, even he would have gasped at the revelation of how his home had been occupied since his own death.

A large round table dominated the main room that started at the foot of a steep staircase. Four figures sat around the table while a fifth person lounged seductively across the top of the table itself.

She was a sexy blonde in a tight black leather costume and high-heeled boots. Her lips were bright red and her eyes gleamed with a natural and unaided green! She dangled a shiny bracelet from one hand and batted at the attached charms with her other hand. Her sharp nails were painted bright red. She purred softly to herself as she played with the costly jewelry.

The elegantly clad and highly fastidious young man who sat across from the Feline Femme Fatale watched her from behind a monocle with a look of fascination mingled with disdain. He sniffed in a haughty manner and pulled at the tips of his spotless white gloves.

“Must she do that? I find that mewing of hers rather unsettling!” he said.

The woman in the skintight costume rolled over and placed her chin on top of her crossed hands. She stared at the man with an alluring if hungry smile on her face.

“Now, Pengy, don’t get your feathers ruffled. I simply adore birds!” she said as she licked her lips.

He jumped up and away from the table as an umbrella clattered to the floor.

“Now see here, Queen of Cats, I will not allow you to demean me with your cat and mouse games! I am the Penguin! Do not try to intimidate me!” he said.

Queen of Cats laughed deliciously and rolled agilely into a chair. She placed her legs over one arm and sighed with pleasure.

“My! My! My! You do need to loosen up!” she said.

A woman with bright red hair leaned forward and placed one hand on the Penguin’s arm.

“The hussy! Don’t let her tease you, Ossie!” she said as he returned to his seat.

“Valerie, I must insist that you refer to me as Oswald or as O.C. if you must address me by anything other than my nom du crime!” he said.

She smiled and said, “Sorry, Oswald. You know that I’m proud of my super villain name too but you don’t hear me telling special friends to call me Killer Moth instead of Val!”

A second redhead brought her sword down on the table as she assumed a position just behind an armored man who listened and watched the others as he sipped brandy.

“Silence, all! The Round Table of Crime must come to order so our right noble liege may give us his orders!” she said.

The Crimelord nodded in approval and said, “Well said, Lady Crimson. You are my good right arm as ever. Still, decorum may yield to the high spirits of peers such as these fine rogues!”

The Queen of Cats said, “Crimelord, since we joined your little clique, we’ve acquired a pleasant sum through protecting your thugs or knaves if you prefer the term. Still, this Pretty Kitty is bored! Cat napping can only do so much for a girl’s morale. I wish to prowl the city.”

Killer Moth said, “Yeah! I agree with Queenie. I don’t mind roughing up cops but ever since that Black Canary witch defeated me, I’ve wanted to fight a costumed type. My old man was always quick to mix it up with Batman and I’d like to carry on his tradition!”

The Penguin sneered as he said, “My dear, with all due respect to your esteemed pater, my own sire the first Penguin was the one who gave Batman fits. May he rest in peace.”

Crimelord smiled and thought, “Poor lad. He either refuses to accept that his father reformed or perhaps, he does not know that Cobblepot the Elder still lives. Mayhaps, he faked his death to escape from the murderous boy!”

A hooded figure stepped out of the shadows and approached the table as lightning flashed and revealed a deathly pale face beneath the hood and cloak.

“Egad! Not that terrible Frostbite woman again! She may be Mr. Zero’s child but her vampiric ways leave me cold!” cried the Penguin.

“Leave ya cold! That’s a good one! Then, again, seeing how this place is all King Arthur-like, cold fowl should be on the menu!” cried the cloaked woman as she shed the cloak and turned a cartwheel!

The Queen of Cats (Michelle Kyle) fluffed her long blonde hair as it trailed out from the back of her cowl and she frowned in disbelief.

“That’s not Frostbite. That’s the Joker’s daughter!” she hissed.

Indeed, the newcomer was dressed in the red and white motley and bells of a jester. She rolled to her feet and bowed low to the Crimelord.

“Call me Harley! As in, Harley Quinn! I’m here to offer my services to you! My, you are a dark and stormy knight ain’t ya?” she said as she eyed Crimelord.

Lady Crimson scowled and stepped forward as light gleamed off her red armor. Her arms and legs were bare but her helmet and chestplate gave her the look of an ancient warrior as she wished.

“Step away from my liege!” she said.

Harley, “Hey, sister, I know when to liege well enough alone! Why dontcha fetch us some mead like a nice wench? I’d get the diet kind if I was you, Red Sonja!”

Lady Crimson drew her sword and sputtered in rage as Crimelord said, “Melissa of Lyons, do bring us refreshments. We would hear more from this dizzy damsel. She amuses us!”

Harley capered into his lap and said, “Every King needs a court jester and I’m just the girl for you!”

Lady Crimson sputtered in helpless anger and then stomped off to get the drinks.

Crimelord said, “And what may we do for you?”

Harley smiled broadly and said, “I thought you’d never ask!”

2

Several weeks later, a bored Jason Todd stared at his reflection in a mirror in the huge lab within the Batcave beneath stately Wayne Manor. He wore his customary Batwing cape and costume; however, his face was now heavily freckled and his hair was a shaggy red mane.

“I look like Jimmy Olson gone to seed!” he quipped.

The dark haired woman in purple and blue who sat across from him laughed and mussed up his hair until it fell off and was revealed to be a wig.

“Mr. Olson would dearly love to have that much hair. The poor dear went bald long ago. Still, you did look like the old actor who played Andy in those war era Judge Drew family flicks!”

Batwing (Jason) smiled and said, “Really? I guess I have learned a few things from Dick and you. I’m no master of disguise yet but I can still change my looks in a convincing way.”

The Huntress (Helena Wayne) smiled and said, “You’ve picked up a good number of skills, young grasshopper!”

He smiled and said, “I have a long way to go before I’ll be as good as Batman’s kids!”

The Huntress nodded sadly. “Even Robin feels like he’ll never equal Dad. I think we’ll both always have that example to shoot for and it will only make us better at what we do.”

Alfred Beagle entered and cleared his throat to get their attention. The butler moved with a silence grace that still impressed Jason even after he had lived with him for a good amount of time.

“Miss Helena, Master Jason, I fear Commissioner O’Hara needs your help. The Bat signal is flashing.”

Jason blinked in surprise and gestured toward a blinking control panel.

“It sure is! I was so busy jawing that I failed to see the light. Dick would really give me the business over that if he was home!”

The Huntress slipped on her own bat-shaped mask and said, “It will be our secret. Now, let’s see what the esteemed Clancy O’Hara wants this evening!”

The Dynamite Duo arrived at Gotham City Police HQ where Sgt. Hainer promptly led them into the office of Commissioner O’Hara.

The gruff but concerned O’Hara quickly clasped hands with the Huntress as he rushed forward.

“Huntress, sure and you’re a welcome sight for these weary eyes! Good to see you too, lad! We just received word of an incident at Gotham State Prison! Could you two look into the matter?” he asked hurriedly.

The Huntress said, “Certainly. I take it some super villains are involved in the breakout?”

O’Hara shook his head and said, “That’s just it. The crooks aren’t breaking out! It’s a break in!”

3

The stark, high walls of Gotham State Prison had been mute witnesses to many acts of villainy or courage but this night a strange sight filled the courtyard as a costumed woman crashed a heavily armored vehicle directly through the walls and forced her way deeper into the jail.

The Killer Moth smiled wildly as she steered the assault vehicle and blasted her way through the gates and walls until she had reached a particular wing.

“I don’t know where that zany dame found the blueprints for this thing but I ain’t going to complain!” she said.

Valerie Van Cleef deliberately assumed the diction and verbiage of a tough street girl to mask the fact that she had in fact been something of a pampered society girl thanks to the ill-gotten wealth her criminal father had given her mother years ago.

She heard the alarms and saw guards rushing forward with their own heavy assault weapons but she knew the tank could shrug off their best efforts.

“I know Harley didn’t invent this beauty but the person who did create it must have been a genius!” she said.

She pushed a button and fire gutted out of the tank to block the path of the guards.

“Can’t stand the heat, get outta the prison!” she said.

She slipped on a green insect-like helmet and activated her artificial wings as she flew out of the tank and tried to locate the cell she wanted.

She glanced over to where other prisoners pleaded for her to free them and she ignored their cries.

“Losers! Let them rot! I’ll just get this old dude and make tracks!” she thought.

She found a cell in which one ugly and frail little man paced restlessly.

“Stand back! I’ll blow open your bars!” she cried.

He nodded and jumped away as she used her wrist blasters to melt the lock .

The door opened easily as she landed and pulled it aside.

The little man smiled and followed her toward the tank.

“You don’t seem all that surprised to see me. In fact the way you were pacing makes me think you almost expected me!” she yelled as they moved up and into the tank.

He grinned and said, “Oh, I saw you in a dream!”

As they prepared to close the hatch, the pair hesitated long enough for Killer Moth’s helmet sensors to detect the arrival of the Huntress and Batwing!

She smiled and said, “I hear the names of some creeps I’d like to meet!”

She turned to the smaller man and said, “Catch a few winks, Doc. I’m going after some super types!”

4

Killer Moth steered the tank around and drove it toward her targets. She didn’t have long to wait since the heroes had already been swinging in the direction of the breakout.

She smiled and hit a button as the Huntress swung into view.

“Fried bat babe!” she shouted.

The Huntress released her rope and flipped agilely through the air as fire blasted out and narrowly missed her darting body. She landed in a crouch and ripped her cape off to smother the falling ashes and embers.

“Can’t let that thing burn down the ward!” she thought.

Elsewhere in the ward, Batwing was already fighting the flames with all of his might. He led a group of guards toward the blaze as the men labored to use their extinguishers to smother the fire.

“Leave that tank to us. You men just keep the inmates locked up and control the fire!” he said in a commanding tone.

An elderly guard replied, “Don’t worry, sir! We’ll do our part!”

Batwing had no time to hesitate but even as he raced forward to help the Huntress, he marveled at how his mere presence seemed to inspire respect from the lawmen.

“I know most of that attitude really is due to Red Robin’s legend but it feels really great to have professionals respect me like that. Man, I’ve come a long way from the streets!” he thought.

Still, not every person in the jail viewed Batwing with awe or respect. A burly felon reached through his cell bars to grab the Boy Wonder around the neck.

“The fire may kill me but getting my chance to kill Red Robin’s brat is worth it!” he grunted.

Batwing choked as he struggled against a much stronger foe.

He also fought to identify the man. He had barely glanced at him as he passed the cell but Red Robin had trained him to notice his environment and to remember small nuances of detail when that kind of thing might be of use to him.

“This attacker is huge and dark haired. He has a look like someone I know!” thought Batwing as he twisted around and reached for his utility belt.

He managed to grab a gas pellet and hurled it backward at his foe’s face.

The big man coughed but continued to squeeze on Batwing’s neck.

“He’s holding his breath or he’s too big to quit! Got to think of something!” he mused.

He raised his legs and kicked the big man in the face before dropping to the ground.

“That agility just saved my neck literally but I’ll be sore for weeks!” he thought.

He darted aside and turned to see the angry con as he waved away the gas and gripped his cell bars in rage.

“Frank Crane! That’s one of the Scarecrow’s heirs! Frank was the big strong dumb one. I guess I’m lucky to have escaped a wrestling match with that hulk with my body intact!”

He rubbed his neck and moved forward to find the Huntress.

She had been all too busy herself as the Killer Moth’s tank’s cannon followed her lithe form as she raced and rolled across the ward.

“I have to lure the tank away from other inmates. One stray blast could kill them. Saving others comes first even if that makes this girl a human target!” she thought.

She heard the roar of the tank as the huge yet oddly swift vehicle rolled along after her. She flipped backward and landed on top of the long gun barrel.

“This thing is hot! It’s burning right through my reinforced boots.”

She raced along the narrow barrel and climbed on the top hatch.

“It can’t hit me now but how can I get inside?” she thought.

She held on to the hatch and her deft fingers played across the top.

The Huntress smiled as she dropped a pellet from her belt into the ventilation system grid.

Killer Moth screamed as the pellet rolled into the tank and exploded in a blinding blast.

“That witch! My helmet protected my eyes but I could have been blinded had I not been wearing it!” she shouted.

She popped the hatch and flew out to tackle the Huntress.

“I’ll kill you right here!” she shouted.

The Huntress gasped in surprise as her flying foe carried her into the roof with stunning impact.

“Didn’t expect someone in a tank to fly. Feels like she drove all the air out of me!” she thought.

The Dark Knight Detective brought her palms together against each side of the Killer Moth’s helmet and managed to knock it askew.

“Maybe, I can blind her long enough to get my breath!” she thought.

She raised her knees and broke free of the woman’s tight embrace.

Batman’s daughter linked her legs around Moth’s body and spun around until she was hanging from her back.

“A bit of glue should gum up her wing mechanism!” she thought.

She smashed the pellet from her belt against the wings and nodded grimly as the delicate mechanism stopped and they plunged to the ground.

The Huntress kicked free and swung gracefully down while her heavier foe crashed hard.

The Huntress quickly ripped off her helmet and knocked her cold before tossing her over one shoulder and rushing back to the tank.

She vaulted to the open hatch and frowned as she peered inside.

“Empty! I guess she didn’t have time to free anyone!” she thought.

She looked up to see Batwing circling a group of escaped cons. They had managed to free themselves when the tank’s rampage weakened their bars.

She sighed and dropped Killer Moth as she prepared to help the young hero.

5

Batwing whipped out an extending pole from a sheath that rested on his hip. He spun around and used the pole to sweep three of the thugs off their feet. Before they could get back up, he kicked off the ground and propelled himself into a well-executed tumble across all three men. The impact knocked the air out of them and three jabs from his staff left them stunned.

“I guess they didn’t know I had the pole position!” he quipped.

The Huntress had dived through the air as well and she brought both high-heeled boots into the chest of a big bald crook named Ace Malone. She followed this move by high kicking a second crook in the nose.

Before two more escaped thugs could grab her, she elbowed one in the chin and brought her fist around in a powerful punch that knocked the final man cold.

She turned to see Batwing yelp as a newcomer aimed a gun at his back.

She fired her own crossbow, which she had grabbed from the holster that strapped it to her leg. A bolt whizzed across the ward and entered the gun’s barrel with remarkable precision. The weapon backfired and the crook fell into the arms of approaching guards.

“I was about to take that gun down with a batarang!” said Batwing.

Huntress said, “Sorry. I guess I’m an over achiever!”

She said, “I see the fire is out and there were few injuries to staff. Did anyone escape?”

Warden Sprague said, “I don’t know yet. We’ve got people doing a sweep. We had to move some inmates to avoid smoke inhalation. I know the whole thing would have ended badly if you two had not arrived.”

The Huntress walked over to where Killer Moth lay and gently used one boot to roll her over.

“I can donate this one to you. I don’t know who she was trying to free or if she was just imitating her father’s m.o. of serving as a would-be defender of the underworld. Still, I can’t account for that high tech tank she rolled in here inside! Valerie Van Cleef was always more of a party girl than science whiz!”

6

Meanwhile, two costumed figures moved silently across the rooftops until they reached one particular building. They peered down through a glass skylight to see a lab in which one man labored into the night near many curious devices.

The caped man in the dark costume with the bat emblem on the chest whispered to the blonde woman in the green shorts and red top.

“Redbird, I think we’ve hit pay dirt!” said Charles Bullock (Blackwing).

Redbird nodded and said, “This lady cop’s instincts agree with you. There is something suspicious going on below!”

They crashed through the skylight to confront the scientist as he jumped backward.

“Thank heavens! I’ve been a nervous wreck tonight. The security system went down and I feared the worst!” said Dr. Van Winkler.

Blackwing said, “Don’t be so quick to assume things are fine. We saw a shadowy figure enter the building by the back entrance. We took a shortcut so we could be here waiting!”

Dr. Van Winkler said, “So, some felon shut down the system? My word!”

A dapper figure in an elegant tux entered the room and casually spun an umbrella in one gloved hand.

“While that expression is typical for men in your line of work, Dr. Van Winkler, I rather fear it makes for a poor choice for your last words!” he said.

Redbird (Meg O’Connor) whipped out a rope and said, “The Penguin!”

The Penguin II smiled and inclined his head in recognition of her words.

“I am charmed to meet you, my dear! What a fetching little pigeon you are!”

Blackwing said, “Drop the umbrella! We know it’s a weapon!”

The Penguin said, “Who am I to disobey such an imposing Pretender?”

He hurled the open part of the umbrella to the ground and it exploded in a blinding flash of magnesium.

Blackwing gasped as he tried to clear his eyes but all he could see were spots.

Redbird had managed to turn her head but she could not fight back before the Penguin raised the remaining handle of the umbrella and shot her in the shoulder.

She fell flat and Blackwing staggered forward to try to defend his partner.

The Penguin smiled coldly and said, “This was like shooting fish in a barrel!”

He shot Blackwing as well and then gestured for Van Winkler to follow him.

“Take me to where you are holding your special guest!” he said in a commanding tone.

Blackwing fell to his knees and clutched his stomach. He was bleeding and he felt himself passing out.

“I really blew it this time!” he gasped as he pressed a button on his belt and summoned the police via a silent alarm.

The Penguin nodded in approval as several thugs emerged from hiding to carry off a special medical chamber and place it in the back of a waiting van.

The Penguin said, “Climb inside, Doctor. You are coming too. I rather doubt those insipid crime fighters will live long enough to say a word!”

Van Winkler nodded and the odd gang sped off into the night.

The Penguin gazed down at the figure within the medical chamber as they drove through the city.

A chalk white face and bright red lips were easily seen through the glass and the elegant rogue smiled to himself as he looked at the slumbering occupant.

“So, this is the infamous Joker! I do not find him that impressive at all!” he said as he placed a cigarette holder in his mouth.

7 A few weeks later found Charles Bullock (Blackwing) recovered from his wound and sitting behind his desk in the law offices of Cranston, Grayson, and Wayne.

The young black man was reading a newspaper and he was visibly disturbed by what he read.

He crumpled the paper up and hurled it into a trashcan as an attractive woman in a short blue skirt, high heels, and a matching blouse and jacket with padded shoulders entered the office and frowned.

Helena Wayne (The Huntress) crossed the room and sat on the edge of Bullock’s desk.

“You read the piece by Tawny Young? I’m sorry. She was pretty abusive to you,” she said.

Charles nodded and closed the door.

“Helena, you’ve been great with all the help and equipment you’ve given to me and Meg but this trash talking journalist makes me wonder if all you’ve done has been a waste of your time and money!” he said.

Helena said, “You are capable at what you do. Your motives for doing it are beyond reproach. You can’t blame yourself because someone as deadly as this new Penguin caught you by surprise. The original Penguin had Batman and Robin at his mercy more than once too!”

Charles paced restlessly and said, “I appreciate the fact that you of all people understand that my whole Blackwing identity is designed to do nothing more than pay homage to all Batman stood for and for all he did for this city. I wanted to help folks like he always did. I’ve tried. I honestly have tried.”

Helena placed one hand on his arm and said, “You and Meg have done a lot of good. Think of all the ordinary crooks you’ve brought down. Now, I admit that you two had a close call and you are both lucky that the police arrived in time to get your proper care. Still, you’ve never been the type of back away from peril.”

Charles said, “Oh, I’m not scared. I’m angry. Tawny Young says that as a black woman she is insulted by the fact that I copied a white hero for my role. She says I reinforce the old racist ideas that a black man can’t be anything more than a lesser version of a white man. That’s garbage! It makes me furious! I’ve never believed that. I wanted to honor Batman. That’s all I ever wanted!”

Helena said, “Perhaps, the best way to counter her line of thinking is to create a totally new identity for yourself that has no connection to any previous hero be he white or black.”

Charles said, “Yeah? Maybe, that would silence her big mouth or her clattering keyboard!”

Helena said, “Charles, this actually ties into something I wanted to talk to you about. I’d like to help out a free legal clinic in Bludhaven. I think you would be perfect to run the operation. It is small but you could truly help poor people like you always try to do. Perhaps, you might even give that nearby city a hero of its own!”

Bullock nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve got some heavy thinking to do but I like the idea. It would still be close enough for me to see my family and help you out when needed. Yet, it would give me a chance to spread my wings so to speak and fly on my own!”

Helena said, “Exactly. What about Meg? She once said she’d like to open a P.I. practice. Maybe, Bludhaven would be the perfect place for her to make a new start too!”

Charles smiled and said, “I hope so. She means a lot to me!”

8 Later that night Charles Bullock sat in his car in Bludhaven and talked with animated eagerness to Meg O’Connor.

“Meg, your arm is healing fine and your leave is almost up. This makes it a perfect time to make a change. Would you consider relocating to Bludhaven? We could even get you a rental office near the new legal clinic. You know you always wanted to be more independent of the force. This might be the solution!” he said.

Meg smiled and said, “I agree that I would rather not return to the force since I have grown to love the freedom we’ve been experiencing in our costumed roles. In fact I have something to tell you as well. I whipped up a few sketches of a pair of costumes that might serve as good replacements for our Bat identities. How about Night and Noir? We keep the dark avengers of the mean streets theme but we lose the direct Bat motif.”

She showed him two pieces of paper and he nodded in approval.

“I like the names. We can work out the costume details later. So, are you willing to relocate, Partner?”

Meg nodded slowly and said, “It’s a deal, Partner!”

Charles said, “Then, it is official. Blackwing and Redbird are dead. Long live Night and Noir!”

9 Meanwhile, within the castle in which Crimelord’s Round Table held their meetings, two of his peers were engaged in a private discussion.

The Queen of Cats gazed down at the Penguin and said, “Harley has become far more than Crimelord’s jester. He is centering all of our own jobs around her needs. He had Killer Moth break Dr. Dreemo out of jail for Harley. He had you bring the Joker’s comatose body here so Dreemo could use his weird science to revive him. Dreemo was my ally but now he only has eyes for Harley. I can’t imagine why he has been spending so much time and effort on a lost cause. The Joker has not blinked since he was brought here. His mind is dead. That’s my opinion. Why are we all serving Harley’s bizarre needs? I am no catspaw!”

The Penguin nodded and said, “You are correct! Purr-fectly correctly, if I may say so but why tell me of your complaints?”

Michelle Kyle said, “I am telling you because I refuse to serve that tacky clown! The Queen of Cats is leaving with her share of the loot! Are you with me?”

Penguin bit down on a cigarette holder and said, “No! I respect your desire to please yourself. All kitties are selfish and spoiled like that. Still, I am playing a game of my own. I will let them think that I am their dutiful pawn until I feel like taking over. I will play their game but the Penguin always plays to win!”

The Queen of Cats sneered as she flounced off into the night with her men and her share of the loot.

“He is so egotistical that he thinks he can fool the Crimelord and Harley and gain some private benefit from their schemes. I have a healthy respect for myself but I believe in the value of knowing when to retreat. I’ll find a nice sunny spot in which to catnap until I need more money then I’ll prowl again! Poor Penguin, I almost feel sorry for him!” she thought.

The Penguin returned to the main hall where Harley sat beside the Crimelord while Lady Crimson scowled at them both with jealousy and resentment etched upon her pretty face.

“Well, how is your project going? My pater was a devoted friend of the Joker’s! I hate to see him so helpless!” he said.

A piercing laugh echoed through the hall as candles flickered and a bizarre figure appeared and jumped upon the round table. He smiled in a ghastly way as he capered around the table.

“Your old man was amusing but he was always a second banana! Still, for the sake of old times, I’ll take you under my wing and make you into a man worthy of being adored by sugar babies everywhere!” he cackled as he glared down at the startled Penguin.

Penguin dropped his cigarette and gasped in surprise.

“The Joker! They’ve really managed to revive him!” he whispered.

Harley smiled at her father with obvious devotion as Crimelord nodded in approval.

“Aye! ‘Tis passing strange but ’tis so!” he said.

The Penguin frowned as he thought, “Perhaps, Queen of the Cats had the right idea!”

10

Days later, Dick Grayson and Jason Todd mingled with a group of elegantly dressed guests at the Wainwright Estate near their own Wayne Manor.

Jason pulled on his tie and said, “You know you didn’t really have to bring me here. I know Karen is out of town but I’m not that much of a substitute for a blonde bombshell like her!”

Dick smiled and said, “You don’t have to tell me that! Still, it is good for you to gain experience at social functions like this one. Someday, you may have to take part in this kind of thing as part of your place in society!”

Jason shrugged and said, “Me? I doubt it!”

Dick turned to the lad and said, “Seriously, Jason, you will someday inherit part of my estate and along with any kids Karen and I might somehow have, you’ll be expected to carry on our traditions.”

Jason smiled and said, “Let’s hope you’ll be around for a long, long time! I still can’t tie one of these crazy things! My neck feels like I just finished that fight with Frank Crane although that happened weeks ago!”

Dick nodded and said, “We better join the other guests for the entertainment. No more shop talk.”

They filed down a wide hallway and reached a small stage where the Wainwright’s had set up an rough performance area.

Jason yawned and thought, “I bet they’ll bring out some blue-haired D.A.R. lady to sing opera!”

He sat up straighter as the curtains parted to reveal a group of oddly dressed men and a woman who certainly didn’t belong to the D.A.R. or know any arias!

“Circus performers! They hired a circus troupe!” he said.

Dick nodded and said, “This group may manage to keep you awake!”

The guests clapped politely as the group’s suave ringmaster stepped forward and said, “Welcome ladies and gentlemen! Welcome! I am delighted to be able to entertain you with the help of my comrades! I direct your attention to the dazzling acrobatic of the Bailey Boys!”

He gestured to where two young men in black and gold outfits began executing a series of graceful flips through the air!

Dick frowned as he observed the entire group. The strongman and the clown waited to one side along with a knife thrower and his lovely target.

“Holy D�j� vu! This group is almost exactly like the Circus of Crime that the Joker used to rob high society parties over forty years ago! Ever since his body was stolen from the lab of Van Winkler, I’ve had a bad feeling that he might somehow be restored to his rotten old self. This smacks too much of his old scheme not to raise suspicions!” he thought.

He gripped Jason’s arm and gently eased the boy through the crowd and back into the shadows at the rear of the huge room.

“Forget about boredom. I think we need to change clothes now!” he whispered.

Jason nodded and followed his mentor out of the room. They slipped into their costumes and returned silently as Red Robin and Batwing.

By now the strongman was captivating the crowd by lifting a heavy set of weights.

Red Robin caught the eye of the clown who stared at him balefully.

“That clown is the Joker! I know him even though he is wearing a slightly more innocuous look than we’re used to seeing on his twisted features!”

He raced forward as the knife thrower hurled a dagger at his head.

Red Robin caught the weapon and hurled it back with the end reversed. The hilt slammed into the attacker’s chin and he staggered backward into the arms of his female aide.

As the crowd gasped and surged aside from the on rushing heroes, the clown shimmered and then stood revealed in the purple suit and with the frightening features of the Joker!

“The former Boy Wonder and his faithful companion! How thrilling! This moment moves me to tears or to homicide rage. I always get those emotions mixed up!” he said as he laughed shrilly.

The strongman jumped forward and hurled the heavy weights at the pair who darted left and right to avoid them and them closed in on him with skilled precision.

Batwing kicked him in the leg and smiled as the big brute crashed to the ground.

“The bigger they are etc. etc.!” he said.

Red Robin slapped a pair of handcuffs on the fallen man as the acrobats jumped into the air.

He twisted aside and grabbed a small table where drinks were resting. He spun it into the air and nodded grimly as the projectile struck one acrobat directly in mid leap. The other man dodged aside and gasped in pain as Red Robin clipped him with a batarang.

“Joker! I don’t know how you managed to revive yourself but then I never expected you to be gone for good. You never do stay dead for long do you? Good men die but your madness just keeps on going!” he said as he closed in on the villain.

Batwing tackled the suave ringmaster and bound him effortlessly as his partner prepared to grapple with the Joker.

“Robin is really grim. I guess the Joker is one foe he won’t treat with any levity!” he thought.

The Joker grinned and said, “Call me the Timex of Crime!”

He stood his ground as Red Robin drew closer and he leered at the caped hero with mad delight.

“Ha! Ha! Ha! Are you angry? Are you too mad to pun? What has become of the laughing young daredevil I used to know? Seeing you all dark and dangerous makes me want to laugh!” he cried.

Red Robin tackled him only to pass directly through him and land on the empty stage behind him.

He whirled around and found no trace of the mad clown.

Batwing said, “I took care of the knife hurler and his gal. What happened to the Joker?”

Red Robin frowned and said, “I don’t know. He vanished like a bad dream. In fact, considering the fact that Dr. Dreemo escaped from jail not too long ago I think that might be exactly what just happened!”

Batwing said, “Huh? You mean he was an illusion?”

Red Robin said, “Not exactly. One thing I know for sure is that he’ll be back!”

Back in the castle of the Crimelord, Harley broke into an impromptu dance as Dreemo stood by a machine and her father’s still form.

“You did it! Daddy’s sleeping mind actually is responding to your dream do-hickey!” she said.

Dreemo nodded and pulled his cloak tighter around his deformed face and withered body.

“I thought I could wake up his mind but all I could do was communicate with his sleeping one. I am shocked still that any man could exert such a powerful mental influence through my machine! He almost seems to be in control of it instead of me!” he said.

Harley placed a wet sloppy kiss on the Joker’s brow and said, “That’s my Daddy! At least, he can make his thoughts real through your machine. Seeing that mental projection from his brain was as good as seeing the real man!”

Dreemo nodded and said, “Yes! He can project a mental manifestation of himself within a limited range of the machine. It does seem to be doing his vital signs some good. ”

Harley said, “Having him lead a new version of his old circus gang out on a crime like one he pulled long ago may be just the right medicine for my Daddy! The best part is that nobody can touch him since all he has to do is just make the dream image of himself fade away if Red Robin or the cops get too close!”

The Crimelord smiled and said, “Harley, Milady! It does my regal heart good to see you so radiant with pleasure!”

Harley kissed him and said, “Right back at ya, Kingy!”

Lady Crimson scowled and sharpened her sword as she eyed the amorous pair with anger.

The Penguin merely smiled as he observed the scene and then he nodded in approval.

“Most satisfactory!” he said.

11

Back at the Batcave, Red Robin sat before a computer and pondered the situation thus far.

“Dreemo escaped from jail when Killer Moth II broke into the prison. Then, the Penguin took the Joker’s body and Dr. Van Winkler. Now, the Joker attempted to pull off a new version of old of his oldest crimes. When we tried to capture him, he vanished and he did nothing but talk and jump around. He did not attack us personally with his old 1000-volt joy buzzer or joker toxin squirt flower. I think he was only there as some type of image. I’d call him a hologram but Dreemo’s past m.o. suggests something more exotic!” he said.

Batwing said, “I’m not familiar with Dreemo. You and Helena fought him once right?”

Red Robin nodded and said, “His father hosted a radio show that dealt with the paranormal. He was more of a conman than a real threat. The son was born in some type of dream dimension, which shows his father eventually did pick up some genuine metaphysical talents. The birth within that place resulted in his being deformed physically and mentally. He is brilliant but warped. He used a machine to touch Helena’s sleeping mind and bring her into a state that was somewhere between sleeping and waking. There, he turned her into a copy of her mother. She started walking, talking, and acting like the original criminal Catwoman. I freed her via hypnosis and we caught Dreemo at the old abandoned radio station where his late father used to do his show. I can see that someone, most likely Harley Quinn, could envision using Dreemo’s science to try to restore the Joker. As you know, he was left in a kind of coma after his last crime!”

The Huntress hurried out of the shadows and said, “I heard everything you said and it certainly fits my own experience earlier tonight.”

Red Robin turned his swivel chair around to face her and said, “You also had a Joker sighting?”

She nodded and said, “O’Hara reported some of his men ran into the Joker near the home of Adrianna Brady. They managed to scare off his gang before they could abduct her!”

Red Robin said, “Adrianna Brady? Her father was Randolph Brady. The Joker killed him! He really is revisiting his old crimes for some reason!”

The Huntress smiled grimly.

“Exactly, that’s why I decided to check out the old Monarch Card Factory. That was the scene where a chemist turned crook named the Red Hood ended up in a vat of chemical waste. That accident turned him into the Joker.”

Batwing said, “Hold it, I never heard of the Red Hood. You say the Joker once used that name?”

Red Robin said, “Right. Read his file again. Helena, did you actually run into him?”

She replied, “Yes, but not at Monarch. I almost swung directly into his gang when I returned from the factory and came closer to here. They were breaking into the estate of comedian Danny Harris.”

Batwing said, “Harris? The Nutty Kid? Martin Deene’s former partner? That Harris? I love his stuff!”

Huntress said, “He lives near here. I dropped down on them and started fighting with the thugs when I saw the Joker himself. He seemed to just loom up out of nowhere. He taunted me and I tried to snare him with my batline but it passed right through him!”

“Did you notice any type of interference in his appearance? Did he flicker like an electrical signal?” asked Red Robin.

The Huntress shook her head and said, “No. He just promised that he’d like to arrange a playdate between his little girl and Batman’s daughter!”

Batwing said, “That sounds like the Joker really is just projecting his dream self or something!”

Huntress said, “But why revisit or re-stage versions of his old crimes?”

Red Robin said, “Perhaps, doing so is part of some process to attempt to revive him fully. Also, why did he avoid some more infamous locations like the Monarch where he was born so to speak?”

The Huntress said, “Could it be a range issue? Maybe, he can only project himself or his image within range of the machine Dreemo is using. That’s why he has stuck to places within a reasonable distance of one another!”

Red Robin jumped to his feet and typed data into the computer. The image on the screen displayed a map of Gotham streets and swiftly altered until certain locales were marked with dots.

“The crime scenes all are located near each other. The central spot we can triangulate from where he did strike indicates the old castle on Gotham Heights!”

He hurried to his car as the others hesitated for a moment.

“Well, come on! You two are in on this too!” he said.

The Huntress and Batwing climbed in the sleek car and the trio drove off into the Gotham night.

Within the old castle on Gotham Heights another kind of storm was raging as Lady Crimson (Melissa Lyons) grew increasingly jealous as her liege the Crimelord displayed his devotion to Harley Quinn in ever more amorous ways.

Melissa had been raised by her father who in turn had been a criminal with a mania for Arthurian lore. Thus, the red haired woman had grown up in a delusional world of damsels and daring in which all elements of modern culture were lost or altered beneath a fa�ade of fantasy and romance. She had been drawn to the Crimelord with his similar mannerisms from their first meeting. Now, she felt lost and adrift as she saw the things she valued and the man she revered become subservient to the giddy Harley Quinn.

Now, Harley juggled a series of balls while her liege dozed nearby in his seat at the Round Table. Dr. Dreemo skulked in the shadows as his machine allowed the Joker’s mind to manifest a garish double of the comatose rogue. The Penguin watched everything closely and Lady Crimson might have been aware of how the elegant killer studied Dreemo’s every movement had she been free of her own strife.

The Joker laughed madly and said, “You know when it rains like this I always think of that line from Karl Marx about putting the roof in the basement in case it leaks!”

Harley smiled broadly and said, “Daddy, I think that came from the Marx Brothers!”

The Joker leered and winked and said, “I know Puddin’ but Karl was the one who said it. After all, Harpo didn’t speak and Chico had that terrible accent so no one knew what he was saying. Just, listen to Daddy and you’ll do fine!”

At that moment the trio of Red Robin, Batwing, and the Huntress crashed through the windows to land gracefully before the villains.

“This knight school is finished! Class dismissed!” said Red Robin as he hurled a couple smoke pellets across the room and saw them explode to blind the criminals.

The hero and his partners were wearing their own mini breathing devices so they could plunge through the billowing smoke with ease. Contacts allowed them to see clearly as well.

Batwing used his staff to block the path of some approaching thugs. He tripped them up and slapped the back of their heads as they fell forward.

He knew his partners well and thus, the agile boy had little need to check on their own movements. He merely concentrated on doing his part as he battled the hired thugs.

He tumbled through the air and brought down two more of them as the smoke and confusion worked to give him more of an edge than he needed.

Meanwhile, the Huntress calmly aimed and fired her crossbow at the Joker.

He cackled as the bolt passed through his body and narrowly missed the sluggish Crimelord.

“Ha! Ha! Ha! Trying to give me the shaft, eh, young lady! You need a good spanking! Or is it, I need to give you a good spanking? No matter!” he said.

She had noticed the coffin-like container in which the Joker’s body rested and thus, her action had never been more than a means of confirming their theories about the nature of the seemingly ghostly Joker!

“That’s it. I can tell for sure that he is nothing more than an annoying image. The fact is we need to ignore him and concentrate on his daughter and her goons!” thought the Dark Knight Detective.

She whipped out a rope and whirled it around until she saw an opening. She tossed the tangling line out until it snared the Penguin’s raised umbrella and ripped it from his gloved hands!

“The nerve of that hussy!” he snapped.

He ran across the room as she followed.

Red Robin had jumped through a crowd of goons to grip the darting Harley by the arm.

“Tough guy, huh? See, how ya like this, Ace!” she cried.

She pushed a huge yellow flower on her costume and acid squirted out in the direction of the Caped Crusader.

“Insulated costume. Get with the program!” he said.

He shoved her into the slowly moving Crimelord and said, “Your virtual father puts on a good show but it a rerun and I’ve seen it many times before!”

She fell hard and cursed only to crawl under the huge table and escape out from the other side.

She jumped up and glanced left and right but she saw no clear avenue of escape.

Red Robin was already swinging toward her and the Lady Crimson had jumped forward to guard her fallen liege.

“Crimelord is like a sleepwalker! I bet Dreemo’s machine has also been sapping his will so he’ll obey Harley!” mused Red Robin.

The Penguin had managed to retrieve another umbrella and as Huntress closed in on him, he dropped the outer covering to reveal a gleaming blade.

He sliced across her stomach with three swift cuts and she gasped in pain.

“I didn’t expect him to move like that. His father was slower according to all I ever read!” she thought.

She ignored the pain and moved forward. She rolled in a tight ball across the room and emerged from her move to grab a sword from the wall of the castle.

She gripped it tightly and returned to duel with the Bird of Prey!

The Penguin smiled coldly and said, “My, what a smashing set of abs you have, my dear! Perhaps, you’d like to surrender and become part of my flock?”

She skillfully knocked his blade from his grasp and kicked him in the nose.

“Take that as a no!” she said.

He reeled backward and turned to find a weapon.

“I will kill you! I will strip the flesh from your body!” he shouted as his anger and pain robbed him of his normally suave pose.

The Huntress danced out of his path and elbowed him in the back of the head. A quick punch followed and left him stunned at her feet.

“I read he had a real hatred for women. I guess I’m number one on his hate list now!” she thought.

Red Robin saw it all even as he tackled Harley and cuffed her wrists.

The Joker image continued to shout and caper around the room wildly but now that the heroes knew it to be nothing more than an image, they could ignore him.

“Bats in the house! Who ya gonna call!” he screamed.

Batwing dodged a burly thug and then brought a spinning kick to his chin.

He knocked him flat and then turned to see Dreemo slipping out the hallway door.

He ran after the frail man and hurled a bolo in his path. It wrapped around the rogue and left him whining on the floor.

“Don’t hurt me! I give up!” he cried as Batwing brought him back.

“This guy is a real wimp without his machines!” he thought.

Crimelord held his head and said, “Harley, my love, come to my side!”

Lady Crimson scowled and said, “My sword is ever at your command, sire!”

He said, “Aye but my heart belongs to none save the Lady Harlequin!”

Lady Crimson grew flushed with her own pain and rage and she spotted her enemy as she lay helpless at Red Robin’s feet.

She roared with anger and charged at her with her sword raised.

“I’ll slay the temptress and win back my liege’s love!” she cried.

As she drew closer to the startled Harley, Lady Crimson found herself spinning through the air as Red Robin flipped her over her target and she crashed directly into Dreemo’s machine.

Sparks flew as the armored woman and her blade smashed into the machine.

The impact left her dazed and the device shattered.

The Joker image flickered away with a last plaintive cry and Harley shrieked as well.

Red Robin and the Huntress bound the villains including the beaten Penguin and led them toward the doorway of the main hall. The police had been summoned by Batwing and they were approaching the steep hill as the heroes took stock of their victory.

“We captured the whole gang. We ended the pseudo Joker’s virtual life!” said Huntress.

Harley grasped her father’s still hand and cried, “He’s worse than before! You wrecked that machine and you killed him! I’ll make you pay. Red Robin, Huntress, that punk! You’ll all die for what you’ve done to my Daddy!”

Red Robin said, “His own madness brought him down. We did nothing.”

The now free Dr. Van Winkler came out of another room as the Huntress helped him recover from his time of imprisonment. The scientist gazed down at the still form of the Joker and looked up at his liberators.

“He’s not dead. He’s just in the state he was in before although a bit deeper I’d say! ”

Before the furious Harley could reply, she felt energy course through her body and in a flash of light, she was gone!

“Teleportation!” gasped Batwing.

Red Robin nodded and said, “Dreemo knew nothing about that kind of science nor did he design that tank Moth used to free him. Where did Harley Quinn get that kind of technology?”

Miles away in a secret base, Harley stood panting in exhaustion before a strikingly lovely if ruthless woman with bright red hair and keen but cold eyes.

“You know, Lexie, that Jetson doohickey of yours leaves a gal worn out!” she signed.

The brilliant woman who had invented both the tank and the teleportation device merely smiled.

“No matter, Harley. You can rest here and when the time is right, The heirs of Superman and Batman will learn to fear the new alliance of Alexis Luthor and Harley Quinn!” she said.

Harley smiled and said, “Yeah! Let’s do that little thing! We’ll do it for our Daddies!”

 

The End